I can see the kites fly
by Alia Rubrik
Summary: It's the illusion of freedom: I fly while they hold the string, and force me to kill the one person I can't. Gaa/Hina AU, OOC.
1. something like a hurricane

**Oops. There goes that spontaneity again. Rat bastard. I know I shouldn't. I've gone through three ideas for this story. Finally vomited out this one. Cannot and will not guarantee any kind of update until November. Rated M because this may end up having lemons and other M rated stuff in it. If other stories of mine are anything to go off, anyway. This will be an official project once Strength is over. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Like, at all.**

 **Trigger Warning? Suicide in this chapter.**

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 **I Can See The Kites Fly  
Chapter One: something like a hurricane**

It's cold out. Dark. Rain driving down in sheets. It plasters my hair to my head, turning it from crimson to wine. The water drips in my eyes, blinding me, blurring my vision. Something more than a storm but less than a hurricane. A little like home, but less violent.

The steel steps beneath my feet are slick with water, the handrail like ice where it kisses my hand, and my feet sound like the hands of a clock with each step.

I slip, my feet slide out from underneath me – no friction when rain beats on steel. But my hand stays glued to the railing and I don't fall far. I hit my knee hard and maybe twist my ankle, but those are nothing. Nothing compared to what was. Nothing compared to what will be. Pain is easy when it's consistent.

I reach the roof. Wind has picked up, howling like a pack of wolves. It gets its fingers into the tendrils of my hair, tugs at them like it's all a game. It forces the rain to swat at my face harder, turning it into pinpricks instead of lazy caresses, stings my eyes, runs up my nose. Pain again. But pain is easy, at least. It's familiar, so it's somehow comforting.

And that should be ironic, shouldn't it? But who cares about irony or pain or wind or rain when you're on a rooftop at 1:45 in the morning in something resembling a hurricane, but less violent? I certainly don't. No one else does, and no one else should. This story will be over soon, anyway. One more chapter for the world to close. A chapter that no one would read, because tragedies are fun in stories but confronting in real life. And no one likes having their bubble burst.

It's 1:46 and I approach the edge of the rooftop. Clouds bruise the sky, and that's frustrating because I'd like a little light to see the road. Not even lightening. More irony, but it doesn't bother me. Death doesn't wait for things as trivial as the weather.

It's a nice sight, though. City lights fighting through the haze. It's like fireflies through a black-stained window. Clouds so dark I can't work out the colour – purple, blue, black, grey? I can see something like the city's silhouette, but can't quite make it out.

My name is Gaara, but that doesn't matter.

I'm twenty-one, but that doesn't matter either.

The rain smells clean. I'm three stories up, and I thought my heart would be beating harder than this. Isn't that what it's supposed to do? But I'm calm. Almost something resembling happy.

I breathe.

I smile.

I close my eyes and step into oblivion. The fall is short, gravity taking merciless hold, embracing me with invisible, unflinching, unforgiving arms. I greet it with something akin to serenity.

It's 1:47 on a night too violent to be a storm, but too calm to be a hurricane, when I fall from the roof of a three-story building. I breathe, I smile, and finally, thankfully, I die.

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 **I feel like this will go something along the lines of The Blood of Ivory. As in, I have a basic concept of how this will pan out, but ideas are always welcome. Spontaneous updates, not particularly long chapters, etc. I think I update quicker if my chapters are shorter. And I like updating quickly for you guys. Makes you feel good, makes me feel good, win win. But I don't want to commit to this before Strength is done. Three more chapters, dammit!**

 **As always, if you favourite this story,** _ **please**_ **leave a review. They're just nice. Motivation and stuff. Don't be mean, I'm only human.**

 **All my love, Alia xoxo**


	2. like rain on bitumen

**Man it feels good to start something new. Uni is over for the year now. Thank Christ. Thank you for the lovely reviews last chapter, nothing gets the writing juices flowing faster than those little pieces of gold. Anyway, next chapter. Hope you like it!**

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 **Chapter 2 – Like rain on bitumen**

 _The gun is cold in my hand. The metal unforgiving against my skin. It's warm outside though. Muggy. It rained recently – I can still smell the steaming water on bitumen. It's a clean, fresh smell. One of my favourites. I breathe it in like an addict does narcotics, and raise the gun. She feels like an old lover in my hands. I know every inch of her intimately, could probably clean her and reload her with my eyes glued shut._

 _A man steps out of a shadow. Not too old, but not young either. Mid-forties, perhaps. His hair is a dark brown with grey flecks through it, and his stomach has probably seen better days. Grey suit, polished shoes. He's nothing to me. I don't even know his name. I wonder if he has a family, but in the same stroke I don't care._

 _I get in to position. Focus. A single bullet, wiped down so no prints, in the back of the head. Easy. Routine. I breathe in that smell – one so fresh, the taste of it taunts the tip of your tongue – relax, take aim, and squeeze the trigger._

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Death is… warm. It's everything and nothing at the same time. There's no noise, but you can hear every thought, every memory, swirling around in a vortex. It's everything life is, and everything life isn't. You are alone, but you don't feel lonely.

There is a beeping noise, and pain at the back of my head. And I know what's happening, somehow. I know that they're bringing me back, but I fight. Why would anyone choose life when death is so much more?

There's voices now, muffled, unintelligible voices talking to each other, talking to me. I find it ridiculous. Obviously I jumped off a building. Obviously I wanted to die. Why on earth would they try and save me, then? It kind of defeats the purpose of suicide.

They fade in and out, sometimes louder, sometimes so quiet I wonder if they finally let me die. I'm angry now. I have a right to die. I have a right to end my own life if I want to. The hell do they think they are that they can take that decision away from me?

But slowly I can feel them healing me. And my body, traitorous as it is, willingly works with the doctors, forcing me to cling to my life as if it's something worth holding on to.

Once I'm left alone – I guess they think I'm stable now – the first thing I notice is the smell. All hospitals smell the same. Like death and sterility. Like white walls and tasteless food and saving lives and losing them.

I don't like hospitals.

But eventually I can't stop my eyes from fluttering open. My eyelids are like lead, and the harsh light above me flickers just slow enough for my eyes to pick up; slow enough to be annoying.

I raise my hand to shield my eyes – or, at the very least, I try to. They're shackled to the side of the bed, along with my feet and torso. Great. Suicide watch. Now to go through the arduous process of telling them that I'm not depressed. I just want to die. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

A nurse enters. I don't see her, I don't bother looking, but I can hear the _click_ of her heels on the linoleum floor.

"Ah, good, you're awake," she says her voice a dry monotone of boredom. "It was lucky we got to you when we did. Someone saw you fall from their window. You're lucky to be alive. How's your head feeling? Any pain?"

"No." The lie falls from my lips like tattered silk.

"Well it should hurt, a fall like that. We lost you quite a few times. Anyway, as you can probably tell we're holding you on suicide watch for the next two days."

That's frustrating. Having someone watching my every single move, evaluating every single word I say for the next two days. I'll pass easily. I refuse to be locked up in a psych ward after this.

I turn to look at her finally, bite out the word "Fine," between my teeth, make sure she hears the annoyance in my tone, but I notice something off with my vision. Something wrong with her. Not her appearance, she's perfectly normal looking, but something… odd. There's numbers above her head. Rolling on a countdown. I would rub my eyes but… well…

It could be a trick of the light. The numbers are barely there, swaying in and out of focus, like steam rising off hot bitumen after rain.

I must be glaring at her too intensely, because her eyes dart nervously from side to side before she leaves abruptly. "I'll send the councillor in shortly. They'll be able to take those bindings off you," she calls out over her shoulder, leaving a little too quickly. And when I look beyond her, I can see that everyone outside has those same not-quite-there numbers above their heads, some larger numbers, some smaller numbers, all in a countdown. I must've hit my head harder than I thought. I close my eyes and let the sound of the hospital drown out the ache in my head.

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 **Reviews are always incredibly appreciated. There's honestly no greater reward for writing stories than to know my readers thoughts.**

 **I hope you all have a lovely day!**

 **Much love, Alia xoxo**


	3. running on a countdown

**Walking Dead is about to come on TV. Anyone watch Walking Dead? I was like, desperately writing this as quick as I could so I can get it out and watch it haha. So if there's any mistakes, that's why. Thank you for such lovely reviews last chapter, such things always bring a smile to my face.**

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 **Chapter 3 –** **running on a countdown**

 _The dream is always the same. I'm in a car. I don't know the speed, but I know it's too fast. I don't care though. It's exhilarating and enlightening and carefree and happiness. The feeling is alien to me, but it's familiar in the dream._

 _A faceless person is driving, another in the front passenger, and a person on either side of me. They're wisps of smoke, and they're chatting to each other and they're chatting to me, and I'm talking back but I have no idea what anyone's saying. It's like we're speaking underwater. But I know the tone of the conversation and it's something good. If it wasn't good then there wouldn't be dull laughter and people wouldn't be singing to a silent radio._

 _Then we hit something and the car flips, rolls, the windows cave in, glass spattering everywhere and it cuts my skin like fragments of ice. People are screaming until they're silenced._

 _And then there's nothing except for the dripping of blood and petroleum. I can smell the rusty, metallic scent, and the people next to me aren't there anymore. They're gone, and so am I._

 _I wake._

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My councillor is a breathless, half senile old man full of good intentions and bad judgement. He too wears the countdown over his head, though his numbers are significantly lower than most other peoples.

The two days are frustrating. They time me when I go to the toilet, won't let me lock the doors, watch me when I dress, make sure I eat right, and overall are overly obsessive that I don't try to kill myself. The strange thing is, when I look in the mirror I can't see a countdown on me. I have to refrain from swiping the air over the old man's head. The only thing that stops me is knowing that seeing things will land me a one-way ticket to the psych ward, and that's what I'm trying to stay away from.

"So what pushed you to such a point, young man?" the councillor had asked me.

"Nothing," I'd replied (lied). "I was up there enjoying the storm and I didn't see the ledge. It was slippery. I fell. And now I'm here. It was an accident. If I was trying to kill myself there would've been more evidence. A note, or cuts up my arms, or even a history."

"Do you enjoy putting yourself in harm's way?"

"No." Yes. "It was an accident. Go look for yourself. There's no railings or anything up there. Someone was bound to accidently fall off and it happened to be me. I'm just glad it didn't kill me." Lying is second nature to me. As much a part of me as my arm.

More questions. More lies. And by the end of the two days he's convinced that I'm a surly, ungrateful twenty-one year old man, but not a suicidal one.

"You take care of yourself now," he says, and I wave, then walk. Don't look back. He's watching, I can feel it, but I won't give him the satisfaction of a smile.

* * *

The sun is bright. Too bright. And the crowds are dense, pushing, shoving, screaming, talking, everyone has something to do or somewhere to be. I enjoy listening in on people's conversations, being given access to a small fragment of their life – I often do that before I take it. It reminds me that the people I kill are exactly that: people. Flawed, normal, complex people, and that helps with the sanity a little. I don't want to lose my humanity. I don't want to see people as an object, because once I do that I'll stop caring and who knows what kind of monster I'll be then?

Probably the demon they so aptly named me for.

I don't know what this countdown thing will do for my humanity, but everyone's still wearing theirs like some ghostly apparition dangling above their heads.

" _Honey, I swear, she means nothing to me, she just keeps texting me and no matter what I do -"_

" _But mummy I_ want _it! It's just an ice cream, why can't you -"_

" _Yeah, it's going okay, a bit stressful though. But everyone's gotta start somewhere, right? I just wish -"_

" _See you guys, I'll catch you later!"_

The last one is said by a girl with long, waist-length hair a peculiar shade of midnight. Even more peculiar than her hair is her eyes, an almost translucent shade of mother-of-pearl. She's walking away from three girls, one blonde, one brunette, and one _pink._ I'd say it's dyed but there's no regrowth. I sweep over the countdowns hanging off their heads. Normal. But the first girl with strange hair and stranger eyes makes my heart stop.

 _10_ , it says. She's walking out on to the road, not looking where she's going, the idiot, and my body moves before I tell it to. Stupid thing. That's the second time it's done that in less than a week. I hope it's not planning on making a habit out of this.

 _9._ She's looking through her bag. The idiot is walking out on to a busy road and she's looking through her bag. I almost will myself to stop moving, I'm so annoyed. But hell, I've killed so many people, saving one can't hurt my karma any less, can it? I'm going to hell (if there is such a place) anyway, may as well do one thing right first.

 _8._ The crowd is thick. There's so many goddamn people. Christ, we need a new epidemic, overpopulation is a serious problem. I'll sign up to be a victim. Top of the list, front and centre, take me please.

 _7._

 _6._

 _5._

 _4._

 _3._ I'm almost there. I can see a truck now. Driver's not looking either. Fucking idiot, eyes were made for us to see with, has everyone suddenly lost that ability? Or have our brains just gone AWOL for these particular ten seconds?

Either way, she's halfway across the road when I reach the curb, and I have _2_ seconds to reach her before she becomes a new feature on the bitumen.

I'm running and my head is fucking _killing_ me, and Christ, when did the road become so long? Truck's nearly there, she's seen it now ( _finally_ ) and _of course_ she's frozen in place, hand still hanging limp out of her bag, the other still holding it up.

 _1._ I reach her, grab the top of her arm and drag her out of the way, careening into the pavement on the opposite side. The truck skids past with a loud and ever fading honk of its horn, but the fool doesn't stop, just keeps going. No big deal. Didn't just nearly kill someone. That's my line of work, not yours.

I'm panting, heart hammering a tattoo against my rib cage, breath coming out in ragged gasps. I glare down at the stupid, stupid girl next to me, my fingers still digging a bruise into her bicep, and say without thought: "You're an absolute idiot, you know that?"

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 **Hinata's here! Was probably pretty obvious how I was intending on introducing her, but I'm not really trying to go for subtlety at the moment. Maybe a little later. Anyway, I hope you like it, and please do leave a review, they really just make everything so worthwhile and I love hearing your thoughts :)**

 **All my love, Alia xoxo**


	4. little rooms

**Don't mind me, just quickly putting out a chapter instead of going to work, no big deal. Quick reply to reviewer** _ **sasusaku:**_ _I have every intention of writing SasuSaku again. They are my OTP. But I'm very unhappy with how a lot of my previous SasuSaku stories have turned out, and I want to go back and edit them before going into the SasuSaku fandom again. I like the smallness of the GaarHina fandom._ **Thank you so much to everyone for your reviews, they're incredibly appreciated! Also, if there's a typo here, it's because I had to go to work instead of edit. Ooops.**

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 **Chapter Four: little rooms**

 _The room is white. Small. White walls, white floor, white roof, white bed, white sheets. I am naked as a new born babe, curled up in a ball, eyes closed against the white that bleaches my vision. Breathing irregular, heartbeat falters. My fingers flex. I am nothing. I am no one. A smudge of colour in a small, empty white room._

 _There is a voice in the room. A faceless, bodiless voice, drifting in the white void._

" _We will call you Gaara," it says, and I whimper._

" _Why am I Gaara?" I ask it, voice cracks, dry._

" _You are not Gaara yet," it replies, a synthesized monotone. "You will learn to be Gaara."_

" _How?"_

 _A pause. "They will teach you."_

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The dreams make little sense to me. They are fragments, they might even be memories, but they make little sense. Vivid, cracked, splinters of my imagination. But I recall them clearly when I look at this stupid girl, heart still palpitating in my ribcage after dragging her away from a truck.

I let go of her quickly, like her skin burns my hand. "Watch where you're going next time," I say to her, then turn to leave. I need to find another way to kill myself. And quick. A way that won't fail. Maybe I'll use a gun. It's hard to survive a bullet to the brain.

"Wait!" she calls out, but I'm disappearing into the thicket of people. Don't turn around. Don't make eye contact. She'll lose me in the undulating crowd soon enough.

Except she doesn't. A hand catches mine and forces me to stop with surprising strength. And I turn around, reflex, unconscious movement, and snarl "Leave me alone." Still don't look at her, eyes glued to the pavement.

She doesn't back down. How annoying. "No," she says. "You just saved me, can I at least get a chance to thank you? Please?"

"You're welcome," I say, then turn away again.

She's persistent, I'll give her that. She doesn't let go of my hand. Fine. I'll drag her until she's forced to let go.

"At least let me buy you a coffee or something," she says, running along beside me. "Come on, I don't even know your name, let me thank you properly!"

We're causing a scene. People are looking, and I don't like that. I don't want people to notice me.

"Let go of me," I growl and try to shake her off. She doesn't let go.

"No, come on, please?" she asks, trailing along like a stray puppy.

It's then that I look at her, agitated, leave me alone you stupid girl, when I see the numbers floating above her head, new ones, a new countdown.

It tells me that she has a week left to live.

Death seems to be trailing her like she's trailing me. Surely there must be a reason, death doesn't just become addicted to someone without one.

My curiosity gets the better of me, even though her dying is none of my business, and I agree to coffee.

Her eyes light up like fireworks on New Year's. "I know a really nice place, you'll like it, everyone does," she says with certainty, and, taking my hand again, drags me against the crowd. I'm getting buffeted in every direction, restless waves in a storm, and I'm sure that half the people in the city just unknowingly felt me up. I feel violated, and it makes me even more angry at this girl. I should've just left her to her fate, considering I only bought her another week of life. She'd make a lovely addition to the asphalt.

I wonder how she'll die next week. Irony would probably insist that she gets crushed by something while checking the road for traffic. Maybe a falling grand piano, or a skydiver whose parachute will fail to open. Something funny and impossible.

She finally pulls me into an overcrowded, stuffy café. There are cushions on the mismatched chairs, and incense burns my throat. An odd wail pierces the atmosphere and it takes me a moment to realise that it's meant to be music.

"What do you think?" she asks, a smile on her lips and lights in those strange eyes of hers. "I love the atmosphere here. It's so different. The staff are great too, and they make amazing coffees. If my dad ever found me in a place like this he'd probably skin me. Oh, I'm Hinata, by the way. Hinata Hyuuga. And before you ask, yes, I'm related to Hiashi Hyuuga. He's my dad. What's your name?"

She's speaking so fast I feel dizzy. And the atmosphere she seems to love so much isn't helping. I think I'm choking on incense. My eyes are definitely burning, and the strange wailing sounds more and more like a dying cat with every passing beat.

Before I get a chance to gather my thoughts, a frazzled waitress appears at our table, sweat sticking her bangs to her forehead and cheeks flushed. "Hey Hinata," she says, whipping out a notepad and pen. "Just the usual today?"

"Yes please Ayame," Hinata replies.

"And who's this handsome fellow?" the waitress called Ayame asks, turning to me. I glare at her. "Hinata, you have a _date_ and you didn't _tell me?_ "

Hinata flushes beet red. "No no no, it's not like that," she defends, hands up and everything. "I was nearly hit by a truck and he pulled me out of the way so I'm shouting him coffee."

"Hit by a truck!" Ayame exclaims, turning back to Hinata. "Are you okay? How the hell did that happen?"

Hinata has the grace to look embarrassed. "It was stupid. I crossed the road and didn't look where I was going. I'm fine, he pulled me out of the way."

Ayame looks relieved. "Okay, well, coffee's on me then," she insists, then turns back to me. "Thanks for saving her, we'd lose half our business if we lost Hinata. What would you like?"

I find myself longing for a bullet to the brain, but choose the strongest coffee I can think of instead. "A large long black," I say.

Ayame nods and finally leaves, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"So what is your name?" Hinata asks me again, and I feel just about ready to kill her.

"Gaara," I reply, my answer short, and hopefully she doesn't continue attempting conversation.

"No last name?" she asks, going against my silent wishes.

"No." Please shut up, please shut up, please shut up. I should've ordered the long black in a take away cup.

"Okay, that's alright," she says, and I'm perplexed by how odd she is. Shouldn't she be in shock or something? She nearly died not half an hour ago, and here she is, nearly bouncing out of her seat, pearl eyes drinking in our surroundings like a blind man seeing light for the first time. I'm exhausted just looking at her. "What do you do? Do you work or study or anything?"

"No," I lie, then, figuring that being slightly polite while waiting for our drinks won't kill me, I continue with "You?"

"Well," she says, and I immediately regret the decision. "Dad's training me up to take over the family business when I'm older, but I'm studying music at uni at the moment. I play flute. Dad wanted me to study business or law or both, but who cares, right? I've got years until I need to take over the business. I can study all that later. Do you play any instruments?"

"No," I reply, praying that the coffee hurries up. How does one person manage to speak so much? Surely there must be a limit on how much any given person can say. I wonder if it's possible for a person's tongue to fall out from over-talking. If it is, she's definitely a contender.

"Oh," she says. "Do you have any hobbies or anything? What do you like?"

"Silence," I say, looking pointedly at her. She doesn't pick up on my hint.

"I like silence too," she agrees, and I'm incredulous. Is it even possible for her to be quiet for more than two seconds to achieve silence? "It's peaceful, isn't it? Like, lets you think properly and gather your thoughts. Sorry, you probably don't believe me. I always talk a lot when I'm nervous. I have a bit of social anxiety. I don't know why I just told you that. Sorry. I need to learn to stop apologising, father always berates me for it."

Thankfully our coffees arrive, and she starts sipping hers quietly, a blush adorning her cheeks which is, admittedly, not unpleasant to look at. She would be considered above average beauty, certainly. Her odd colourings make her look mysterious, sort of unknowable in a way that a mythical nymph or sprite would. If only she wouldn't talk so much.

I down my coffee quickly, scalding my throat, but I force tears out of my eyes and don't take my gaze off her the whole while. She looks at me wide eyed, incredulous, why on earth am I doing this, I'm going to burn myself, stupid. Though it hardly matters. Hopefully I'll be dead soon. Dead men can't feel burnt throats.

The coffee finished, I put the cup back down on the table and rise to leave.

"Thanks for the coffee, watch where you're going next time," I say, ignoring the pain in my throat, and leave. She watches me go, at last, finally, silent.

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 **Gotta go to work now. Leave me reviews? I'll love you forever!**

 **Much love, Alia xoxo**


	5. a hold on release

**I apologise profusely for the wait! It was certainly unintentional, I've just been so ridiculously busy with… well… everything haha. Finished Strength, so now hopefully I'll be able to update this one faster. That's the idea, anyway. Not a huge chapter, but an important one nevertheless. Thank you for such lovely reviews last chapter, they were more appreciated than you could possibly know.**

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 **Chapter Five: a hold on release**

I don't pay attention to where I'm going, just keep moving. One foot in front of the other, twisting through labyrinthine streets. Not many people here, and those who are are from the lowest of low classes, covered in rags and sweat and grime. Most of them are half mad with memory and experience, sitting on the cracked path, begging for a coin.

I keep walking, head down, no one notice me. I don't know where I am anymore, helplessly lost, and I feel like I can finally breathe a little easier. Surely they can't find me when I can't find myself.

But they do. They always do.

He's well dressed, Itachi Uchiha. And a handsome man by most people's standards. Older than me, taller than me, an air of confidence that should be arrogance oozes from his skin. Kisame, his back up (Itachi doesn't need a bodyguard. No one is that stupid) stands two feet behind him, a towering mass of muscle and weaponry, smirking like that's his job, which it might very well be. As far as necessity goes, he's all but useless when Itachi steps in.

I purposefully avoid looking above their chests. I know that the numbers will be rising above their heads like smoke, and there are some things that people are just better off not knowing. When your bosses son and heir is going to die is one of those things.

"How's your head?" Itachi asks me, and I shouldn't be surprised that he knows about my fall. Of course he knows. There's nothing Itachi Uchiha, prodigy of the Uchiha Clan, doesn't know.

"Been better," I reply, itching to get away and knowing I can't. That's why they sent Itachi. He's probably the only one who can outmatch me out of the entire corporation. It's not a lack of confidence thing. It's an I-know-this-to-be-fact thing. I would've tried running on anyone else. But not Itachi. He'd catch me, and they know that. Smart fuckers.

"Father's not pleased that you attempted that without his permission. You know how it works, Gaara."

"I'll try again," I say. "It'll work next time." It's not a threat. A statement of fact, more like.

"We know. But until you get father's permission you also know he won't let you. It wasn't just chance that there was a car directly beneath you to break your fall and an ambulance on speed-dial. He won't let you die without his permission. You know that. You're too important to the Organisation. You helped lay the foundations. So you'll get that reward eventually, but now you've got to atone for your attempted suicide."

"How so?" I ask, wondering what they'll do next. Nothing they haven't done before, I can pretty much guarantee that. Apart from actually killing me, they've done just about everything else, and not always as punishment, either. Most of them are training exercises. The weak are weeded out quickly. Only the strong survive.

"One more hit and then you're done. Father will hand you the gun himself, if that's what you want. But this one's probably your most important hit yet. Father was very pleased to see that you've already met her. Wasn't very pleased that you stopped that truck, however."

He walks with certainty in his steps towards me until we're side-by-side, and then we start walking down the near-deserted street together, stark out of place in the city's underbelly of shit and depression.

"Hinata Hyuuga, you mean?" I confirm, keeping my eyes on the sidewalk lest Kisame start looking for an excuse to gouge my eyes out, and so that I don't risk looking at the wispy numbers. Maybe having my eyes gouged out wouldn't be such a bad idea after all. Unfortunately Kisame's strong but slow and clumsy, so he'd fail, and it'd be loud and messy and annoying, so I avoid the confrontation.

"The daughter of the great Hiashi Hyuuga, and heir to his empire. Hiashi challenged father, and so father intends on sending them a very clear message. You don't fuck with him. Hiashi was stupid. The Hyuuga and the Uchiha have very clear territory lines, and not only did Hiashi cross those lines, he parked himself right in the middle of our territory. He should have known what the consequences would be."

I keep stride with him, thinking on what he'd said. I'd heard little of Hiashi Hyuuga, preferring to keep my nose out of other people's business. Helps with the detachment. I did know that he was powerful, I just didn't care. It was never any of my business. Dead men don't have business.

"Is there a time limit for the hit?" I ask, hoping there's not. I hate being constricted by time. I rush it and that leaves room for error. Errors are mistakes and mistakes come back to bite you in the arse. When it's done at my own pace, there's no error. Never has been.

"Within the week would be preferable," says Itachi calmly, and anyone watching would never know that we're talking about an assassination. It's slightly surreal. "But you can take longer. Father doesn't care how you do it, just as long as you get it done."

"And should I fail?"

"Then your job will get a lot harder," Itachi says, not one to dish out threats of his own. With any and all humans there's room for human error. I've missed shots before. Everyone has. It just leaves one hell of a mess for you to clean up, and no one likes doing that.

He disappears as quickly as he came, as ethereal as the numbers steaming above his head, and I disappear once more into the crevices of the underworld. One more hit and then I'll be granted the sweet release of death. I have to kill Hinata Hyuuga.

* * *

 **You all probably saw that coming. But also maybe not. *shrugs*. I've really started planning this story out, tossing up between a few ideas. Anything you'd like to include, let me know! I'll see what I can do!**

 **Happy New Year's everyone! Leave me a little review? They're wonderful to receive, I love knowing your thoughts.**

 **All my love, Alia xoxo**


	6. hopefully, the last

**Don't mind me, just dropping in another little chapter *whistles unsuspiciously* Thank you for such lovely reviews last chapter, I'd be lost without you guys, honestly. Also, I know literally nothing about guns, so any and all info in here is courtesy of Google. Any errors, just tell me please? Anyway, on to the chapter! Don't kill me for the cliffhanger, yeah?**

* * *

 **Chapter six – hopefully, the last**

Hiashi Hyuuga and his two daughters live in the penthouse of one of the most extravagant buildings in the entire city. It's covered in floor-to-ceiling windows, and that suits my intentions perfectly. There's a building two-hundred metres away with the perfect vantage point: straight into Hinata's bedroom.

I spend the week researching her. I follow her around, hood pulled up over my head to hide my hair because heaven forbid she should recognise me. I find out that she has three close friends – those three girls I'd seen her part from before she nearly became roadkill. The blonde is Ino, and she's as much a pig as her namesake would have, as far as I can tell. The brunette is Tenten, stupid name, but she has some brains about her. Her obsession with weapons makes me wonder if she's a bodyguard her father planted. The roseate is Sakura, the smartest of the group, considering that she's planning on becoming a doctor.

I was mildly shocked to find out that Sakura is dating Sasuke, Itachi's younger brother, second in line to the Uchiha Empire. I wonder if his father knows about that, but I shake my head. Of course he knows. I doubt very much, however, that he knows Sakura is close friends with Hinata. Uchiha Fugaku is not the sort of man to let an opportunity such as that slide from beneath his fingertips.

I also find out that she's an incredible flute player. I knew that she played the instrument due to her incessant yabbering at the café, but I didn't know she was actually that good at it. It was a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

I find out that she prefers cats to dogs, that she has a giant bookcase overflowing with books she's read, and fancies Sasuke Uchiha's best friend, Naruto. Though I believe that that last is common knowledge, considering that everyone in the entire university knows except, as fate would have it, for Naruto.

She spends most of her time studying at the university library (who knew that music had so much theory?), prefers texting to calling, can't tell her left from her right, and has a deep love for her sister and father, although she has no clue about the more shady aspects of her father's business.

It's interesting gaining insight into the world of a girl I'm supposed to kill. And I don't quite know why I'm taking so much time to know her when I generally don't bother with so much research. I blame it on this new life clock I can see shimmering above her head, the numbers still ticking down the seconds until my bullet lodges itself in her brain. I find myself thinking what her final thought will be. Whether she'll notice the bullet sliding into her temple, or if it'll kill her so quickly she won't realise.

I hope she doesn't notice. I don't think that this girl is evil enough to warrant such pain before her end.

I decide to kill her on a Friday night. It's warm, and at 7:30 the moon has retreated behind the horizon so no one can see me from my vantage point. Hinata's windows are lit up like fireworks, and I can see every square inch of her apartment from where I'm perched.

The Uchiha's have given me a CheyTac Intervention .408 to get the job done. Not the kind of gun I'm used to, but with better precision and far more power.

They really don't want me to miss.

There's a silencer on the end, magazine in place, and I'm watching Hinata through the scope. She's just finished her shower and is walking towards her bedroom. That's where I'll get her. No witnesses that way. They might not even find her for a few hours, and the longer that takes, the better chance I'll have of getting away.

All five bullets in the magazine are wiped down. No chance of prints, and after this job the gun will be burned. No way to trace it back to me or anyone. I'm dressed head to toe in tight fitting clothes. Not allowed food or drink up here, and my hair is pulled right back into a cap, so no clues can be left. No one can be allowed to trace me. But I know how to do this. I've done it a thousand times before, and hopefully never again.

She's picked up her flute and has started practising. I can read the name of the piece through the scope. _Le Merle Noir._ I've heard her practise that one before. It's an odd sounding, complex piece, and she struggles with the jumps between high and low notes, but ultimately it makes for an interesting listen.

I can see her getting frustrated, a crease puckers between her brows, and I wonder what part she's up to. Possibly the part where she has to play really fast, because I've seen her get irked at that part in the past. But it could be a different part, as the song has a lot of places where anyone less experienced would give up.

She puts the flute down and goes back to the bathroom, presumably to dry her hair, considering that there's a towel wrapped around her head. It takes her a long time to come back out, and when she does her hair is dry and hanging down in a sleek raven waterfall to her waist, so my assumption is proven correct.

She passes her flute and music this time, and heads towards her computer. Waiting is tedious. I need to wait for her to say that she's going to bed. Then no one will be suspicious if there's no movement. Wait for the exact moment that she turns her light out, and then shoot immediately afterwards, before she has time to move away.

She spends the next three hours on her computer, typing, listening to music, watching videos, and I'm bored shitless. But eventually she closes the lid of her computer, gets up, yawns, stretches, and heads for her door. She says something through the crack between door and door frame (I make an educated guess that she says "good night") and then she closes the door, finger on the light switch. I prepare myself, finger on the trigger, gun held securely against my body, and take a deep breath, in, then out.

She yawns again, one last, final time, then flicks the switch.

I squeeze the trigger, and shoot.

* * *

 **So… yeah, there's that.**

 **Le Merle Noir is a beautiful song composed by Olivier Messiaen. I also might be currently learning it. It's pretty difficult, not gonna lie. Anyway, reviews? They're always lovely to receive, and honestly motivate the absolute Scheiße out of me. Please don't favourite without leaving one, I'd love to hear from you :)**

 **All my love, Alia xoxo**


	7. hierarchy

**Thank you to my beautiful reviewers, you guys make this little venture all the more sweeter.**

 **It's like, 12:45am and I'm wide awake. So instead of sleeping I'm writing a chapter and updating. Yay for priorities!  
**

* * *

 **Chapter seven: hierarchy**

 _They're coming. The fighting is getting worse. I've stayed out of it until now, not willing to risk my neck for them unless I have to. The war has been raging for months now, but it's coming to a head tonight. People are tearing each other apart with their bare hands. Even Itachi's involved. You know shit's serious when Itachi's involved._

 _But it's my duty to my makers that I assist. I take a while to prepare, the ink on my forehead still fresh and sore. It's performed like a ritual, this assemblage of myself. Transforming myself from a nameless, faceless person into Gaara. Gaara the demon. Gaara the killer._

 _There's not a single part of me that isn't equipped with a weapon. Two guns. A lot of ammo. A machete and a lot of throwing knives. Let's watch them try to kill me now. I have no past and no future. In a way I'm already dead; a walking corpse with a mission to fulfil. No past that they can use against me, no future they can steal from me. A man-child with nothing to lose and nothing to gain. And isn't that the most terrifying man of all?_

 _A bell tolls midnight, beating alongside my heart, a death march. A call to arms. I step out in to the night, ready to look death in the eyes and knowing, somehow, that I will not die tonight._

* * *

I wait a few moments after the muted shot has been made. Her room is dark still, and my heart is beating faster than it should be. I've done this a thousand times before, yet this insignificant girl gets my heart beating fast. How stupid.

I don't move, muscles locked in to place. I should be packing up by now. But I'm not. Eye still glued to the scope, I see nothing but the darkness of her room. I can't see her body, but I know it'll be on the floor. There'll be a hole in her temple, oozing blood, staining the thick white carpet. Probably a bit of spatter.

 _Move, Gaara._

I need to move. My trail needs to go cold before they can have a hope of finding me. The gun needs to be destroyed, ammo dropped out at sea or something. It'll rain a bit later, I can feel it in the air, and that'll wash away every last trace of my being here.

Muscles finally unlocked, I begin to move.

Her light turns back on.

I notice it like a halo in my peripherals, and at first I'm a deer caught in headlights and then I'm diving for my scope, clumsily holding it to my eye to see what's happening.

It takes me a moment to realise I've missed her, as impossible as that seems. There's a trail of blood along her temple where my bullet scratched her, but I know I've missed. She must have moved last minute, as soon as the lights went off, in that fraction of a second between total darkness and a bullet being fired.

I should fire off a second round but people are slamming their way into her room now. She's crying, hysterical, holding her fingers to her temple and pulling them away to find them blood-soaked. Screaming, sobbing, she's in shock. The countdown above her head is spinning, unable to settle on a number.

I shift focus to a man who is a little older than Hinata and obviously a Hyuuga as he makes his way towards the window where the bullet made entry. It's a small hole surrounded by a spiders-web of cracks. He looks first at the hole, then through it, trying to work out the trajectory, trying to see who did this.

He can't see me though. It's nightfall, I'm dressed in black, laying on my belly behind a small wall two-hundred metres away. But I can see him and I know that's my queue to leave.

I skid back, still on my belly, dragging the gun with me. It only takes a few minutes to disassemble it, and I scour the area one last time to ensure I've left nothing behind. It'd be hard to do considering my full body suit that leaves only my eyes uncovered, but mistakes can be made. That was proven only a few minutes earlier, and I curse my stupidity. I've left a hell of a mess to clean up.

I leave the building quickly, take the stairs and the back way to avoid cameras, and step in to the black car that I knew would be waiting for me.

Itachi is inside, seemingly at ease, and I should be nervous because I just fucked up big time, but I'm not. I avoid looking at his face though, and he can interpret that however he likes, but at the end of the day I refuse to look at those numbers above his head.

"You missed," he states, his voice nonchalant.

"I know," I reply, setting the gun case down. I'm only disappointed that I missed because now my suicide will be put on hold until I can kill her. And that just got a whole lot harder.

"What are you going to do about it?" he asks me, and I'm already thinking about how to clean up this mess.

"They'll step up her guard from here on out," I say, knowing the basic protocol that will be followed. "Keep her away from windows, guard her something chronic." I'm talking myself through the steps that'll be followed, looking for a way to insert myself into the situation. "Added security means more guards," and then I get my idea. "I'll apply to be a guard," I say. "I saved her once, she'll vouch for me."

"Good," says Itachi, his voice emotionless. "What are your qualifications?"

"Trained with the army reserve for two years," I answer immediately.

"We can do that," Itachi confirms. "Why are you going to be there?"

I know what he's doing. Getting my story straight. They'll interrogate me about all of this, but I've been trained for this situation. My brain is running a thousand miles a second, and I'm conjuring bullshit from thin air.

"I'm broke and need a job." A basic, generic answer. Nothing too complex, I'll have a lot of shit to remember.

"Family?"

"Orphan."

"Mental illness? They'll do a background check."

"No mental illness. You'll need to wipe my hospital record."

"It's done. How long have you been in Konoha?"

"Grew up here, got back a month ago."

The questions continue along those lines. I'm building up a profile in my head of this character I'll play, working out the kinks in my story. Itachi questions me ruthlessly, repeating questions, posing them differently, ensuring it's bullet proof. I know that once we're done he'll contact the necessary people who can verify my story in real life, whether it's by altering current records, making new ones, or deleting old ones. It feels like a lot of trouble that they're going to, but I know that Hinata's no ordinary target, either. That was proven the minute they asked me to get her.

There's a hierarchy of hitmen within the Uchiha Clan. I'm second only to Itachi. They only send in Itachi when they have literally no other alternative. Itachi is their last resort, but they send me in when they can't trust anyone else to do the job and they can't risk Itachi. They send me in because the chances of me missing are a million to one.

Hinata just happened to be that one in a million.

In fact, they would send in Itachi for this if he were anyone else. But fact is, the Hyuuga would recognise Itachi in an instant. But me, I'm like smoke. They know _of_ me, but they don't know my face. They don't know my name, either. Outside of the upper-cadre of the Uchiha, I'm known only as "demon". I'm nameless, faceless, and the second best weapon the Uchiha have in their arsenal.

The car stops, and I step out, Itachi's voice following me. "Do what you have to to clean this up. We'll do what we have to to get you in. Don't fuck it up again, or father won't give you death for a long time yet."

"Understood," I say, and walk towards the stirring horizon, where dawn it just beginning to take hold. Around me, it starts to rain.

* * *

 **I'm still fleshing out parts of this story. Anyone have ideas, hit me up. Like, I've got the majority of it down, but other parts I'm still figuring out. Oh well. I'll get there eventually. It took me like, 30 chapters to figure out what the hell I was doing for Blood of Ivory and that turned out pretty well, so it can't be all bad, right? Ugh, this indecision is making my stomach church. Or maybe I'm just hungry. Probably hungry.**

 **Thanks for reading, leave me love/reviews? I'll love you back, promise!**

 **Lots of love, Alia xoxo**


	8. the trained eye

**I got my license yesterday and today I got a swishy skirt. Life is good :3**

 **New chapter! Yay! Reviewer** _ **Red-velvet-sash568904**_ **I don't know if you know but your PMs are turned off and I keep wanting to reply to all of the beautiful reviews you've left me but I can't, so just so you know, thank you so much for all of them and I hope you turn them on one day so I can reply properly :)**

* * *

 **Chapter eight: the trained eye**

The application process is tedious. Of course, I'm not the one in charge of my own application, can't have me fuck that up too. Instead I'm prepared. I cannot be allowed to have any evident ties to the Uchiha. I have to have my story straight.

They give me the surname _Sabaku_. It feels strange on my tongue. Foreign, like it doesn't belong alongside my first name. Gaara Sabaku. How odd.

The tattoo on my forehead was done on a dare, made by my comrades. They all signed on for deployment and I didn't. Why not? Couldn't be fucked fighting and dying for a rich man's greed.

As to why I'm an orphan, I was given up for adoption shortly after birth and was never adopted. In and out of foster homes, I joined the reserves to work out the inevitable anger issues that arose from that.

Got back to Konoha just last month and now here I, Gaara Sabaku, definitely not Demon and certainly not in any way affiliated with the Uchiha, am. Broke and needing a job. Guarding is something I'd be good at (don't forget the 'sir') sir, because I ain't very smart but I know how to shoot a gun without shooting myself and how to follow orders. Please hire me, I'm so very broke and really just want to kill myself sooner rather than later.

At last, the application is finalised and processed, all kinks in my story ironed out and all holes, like a basic background check on the internet, are gone. I am watertight.

It takes a day for my application to be accepted, and another for them to call me on the cheap phone I was given to ask for an interview, which I readily accept, putting on my best grateful and relieved voice. But don't lay it on too thick. It'll contrast with the character Hinata already knows me as, and I refuse to arouse suspicion.

The interview isn't as hard as I thought it would be, and in the end, unsurprisingly, I'm accepted. I'm put on duty in the front lobby, to check everyone who comes in and out. Not exactly where I wanted to start, but something's better than nothing and Hinata's bound to come out of her apartment at some stage.

The Hyuuga building is huge, though. Hiashi spared no expense in its extravagance. The damn place smells like _roses_. It makes me feel slightly ill, like they're infecting me with their wealth. White marble floors are veined black, while black marble pillars stretch up to hold the twenty foot high roof. The walls, in contrast to the floor, are black marble speckled with white, and the walls hugging the entrance feature a lazy waterfall trickling down its front, so that it shimmers and distorts like the midnight sky. A grand staircase slopes slowly upwards towards the lobby, where all guests are signed in and out and must have a formal invitation from Hiashi himself to be allowed entrance.

Normally I'd go looking for her. I'm itching to do so, desperate to get this out of the way. But the Hyuuga are all insanely on edge, so stressed it's making me antsy. I'd always imagined the Hyuuga to be uptight but this is intense – you can feel it in the air, a smothering blanket of nerves and anxiety. I know it's because of my assassination attempt on Hinata, that much is embarrassingly obvious, but normally I'd be able to get away for a short period of time to go and find her.

But not here.

Here they've installed next level security, you need a fingerprint just to get into the elevator or stairs, and I haven't even got that far yet.

I overheard that they've installed bullet-proof glass into all of the windows, and Hinata is always accompanied by at least two guards, one of them always being someone named Neji. Apparently he's Hinata's cousin or something, and I listen as some guards make bets on whether he watches her pee or not. The overwhelming majority agree that he definitely does.

Apart from that, they have cameras trained on just about every angle of the building (the parts I've been in, at least) and someone comes around between every ten and twenty minutes to ensure that we're all where we should be.

I was both surprised and yet not surprised to learn that the person who makes those rounds is Tenten. My assumption that she's one of Hinata's bodyguards was correct.

It takes a week for her to finally come down. The one I assume is Neji is doubling as her shadow, eyes the colour of pearls darting like a hawk throughout the room, looking for the slightest sign of danger. Tenten is there too, pleading with Hinata to go back upstairs, back where it's safe. It's not working.

"Tenten, please, you know I love you but I can't spend the rest of my life cowering in my room," Hinata says, calm. I can see where my bullet scraped her temple. It's about two inches long, has stitches and is covered in gauze. I know just by looking at it that it'll scar. The numbers above her head indicate that she'll die in a month. Thank a deity that they've stopped their frantic spinning.

Neji's and Tenten's are odd though. They are both rolling on four months, a few hours difference, but not enough to put it down as coincidence. It makes me wonder desperately what my countdown says. One month and a day? That would be perfect.

Tenten is still pleading with her. She's covered in weapons, almost all of them hidden to the untrained eye, but I know where to look so I see them easily.

I wonder if it's possible to shoot her right now, while we're here in this lobby. My eyes dart around, assessing the situation, and quickly decide against it. Security riddles the place like cockroaches, all of them on high alert now that Hinata's made an appearance. I'd have barely touched the gun before ten guys would be on me. And then I'd never get to her.

She and Tenten are still compromising on whether she can go out. They're nearly at the bottom of the stairs now. I move a little, make myself a little more obvious. Knowing Hinata as little as I do, chances are, if she sees me, she'll want me as a guard. I did save her life, after all. She's just a bit too trusting.

They reach the bottom of the stairs. Hinata gives a slight roll of her eyes at something Tenten says, and that's when she sees me.

Her eyes lock on to mine like an anchor, her irises the colour of captured moonlight. I can see multiple emotions play out across her features, at first confusion, then recognition, then shock, surprise, and finally joy. Her eyes are a pool of emotions and I find myself drowning in them for a moment before I drag myself back to reality. I nod at her, recognising her recognition, and then fireworks light up her eyes and a smile creeps on to her face.

"Gaara!" she exclaims, breaking free of her guard and running up to me. She's hugged me before I even register what's happening, and lets go before I can force her off.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that," she says, a blush marring her cheeks. She turns away, ashamed of her behaviour, and though I find it annoying I wonder why she could possibly be ashamed of a hug. It seems, from what I've observed, to be a normal part of interaction between two people who know each other.

"Hi," I say, forcing the word out. Neji catches up to us then, and suddenly there's a gun pointed in my face and I'm staring down the barrel.

"Who are you?" he demands, turning the safety off. His voice is the antithesis of Hinata's: cold, controlled, calculated. He's looking at me with narrow, suspicious eyes, positioned himself between Hinata and myself.

"Neji, put your gun down!" Hinata says, horrified, trying to pull his arm down. "I know him, his name's Gaara, he saved my life!"

That gets Neji's attention and he lowers the gun slightly, safety still off, pointed at my chest now. Hinata continues, encouraged.

"You remember how I told you the other week I was nearly hit by a truck? Gaara's the one who pulled me out of the way!" She turns back to me, happiness an annoying halo on her face. "I thought I'd never see you again, what are you doing here?"

I shrug, one eye still on Neji's gun. The room around us is still, every available gun trained on me, waiting for Neji to give the signal that they may fire. "I needed a job and this was advertised," I lie easily. Neji is still looking at me funny, Tenten attempting an unsuccessful wall between Hinata and I. Hinata is a hilarious mix of worried and ecstatic.

Neji takes a moment, then finally lowers his gun, prompting the rest of the room to do so too. Questions are swimming in his eyes, and I know, right then, that this job will be harder than I ever imagined.

* * *

 **Must sleep. So tired. Leave reviews? They make my little fanfiction world go round :)**

 **All my love, Alia xoxo**


	9. the hilarity of safe

**I may have gotten my inspiration back for this story? Maybe? Or maybe it's just a desperate attempt at procrastination. 17 days until I've finished my degree guys! I won't promise quick updates, as much as I wish I could. But I do want to thank you guys for your patience. So much. Like, there are no words to tell you how much I appreciate it, so thank you.**

* * *

 **Chapter nine: the hilarity of safe**

 **Hinata Speaks.**

Safe is a funny word. Probably the funniest word in the world. Neji tells me I'm _safe_ at least twenty-three times a day. I know. I've counted.

Tenten, too, tells me I'm _safe_. Her mouth says the word, but her eyes don't believe it. She hopes that if she says it enough, it'll be true. Like a mantra, a prayer, repetitious rhythm beating over and over like a heartbeat – truth, until it stops. Serious as a heart attack.

Everyone likes bleating this word at me, like sheep in a flock, saying it without truly understanding what it means.

But the thing is, I don't feel safe.

Once is an accident. Nearly being hit by a truck can be blamed on my own stupidity. Easily. I didn't look where I was going. But neither did he. I've stared into the eyes of someone who was millimetres away from killing me, and lived to tell the tale.

The truck driver had brown eyes. Brown, bored, bottomless eyes. Scared eyes. But not scared for me – scared for himself. He saw his life flash in front of him. A could-have-been life. A would-have-been life. Guilty of manslaughter, twenty years in prison for an accident. Twenty years in prison because a stupid girl can't look both ways before crossing the road.

Twice is intentional. Turning my life on and off like a light-switch. One flick of a button and everything's black.

I avoid light-switches now. Turn it off and then I'm gone instantaneously. And no matter how many times Neji says

 _You're safe now, Hinata._

 _No one's going to hurt you, Hinata._

 _The windows are bulletproof, Hinata._

 _You don't have to be scared, Hinata._

I can't quite believe him. Because I don't feel safe. What does safe even mean? Safe is a word you tell young children who are scared of imaginary monsters.

But my monsters are real, and I have the two-inch scar on my left temple to prove it.

There's no trace of my attempted killer. Something like this wasn't done by a rookie. It was the Uchiha. Everyone knows it. And everyone suspects it was done by the _Demon._ And that is terrifying in and of itself, because no one knows who the _Demon_ is. We don't have a name, a gender, a physical description, or anything. We have rumours and myths. We know that wherever the _Demon_ goes, death always follows. We know that the _Demon_ hasn't missed a shot – until, maybe, me. And I'm quite certain the _Demon_ only missed me because my light-switch gave me an electric shock as I flicked it off that night, making me jump just enough out of their way to make them miss the kill shot.

That's if it was the _Demon_ though. But my gut tells me it was.

Funnily enough, and much to Neji's chagrin, I feel a semblance of safety whenever I see Gaara. I know it's probably to do with the fact that he, you know, _saved my life that one time_ , but it's true. I don't trust him though. If my father taught me one thing, it's _trust no one._

Neji took it from there. And despite my father's lessons, I do trust Neji. My nature makes it difficult for him to work with, but we figured out a way. Just play on peoples assumptions of me.

 _Kind, sweet, naïve, innocent Hinata._ It's a good front. People underestimate me. Think they can take advantage of me. I don't like hurting people, and would rather avoid it wherever possible, but if I have to I will.

Since the attempt on my life, my father has worked almost non-stop to find out everything he can on the Uchiha. He knew it was dangerous for us to move here. But he also knows that the Uchiha are our biggest rivals. Fugaku Uchiha is a formidable opponent, but my father knows that he can't be any more ready than he currently is. He knew the risks associated with moving to Konoha, but he also knew that either he or Fugaku would have to make the move sooner or later. The world isn't big enough for the two of them.

And yes, the Uchiha have the _Demon_ and Itachi on their side. We are in their territory and they have more men. But my father has always been about quality over quantity. They have _more,_ but we have _better._ We have Neji, for starters. A prodigy, one of the most skilled weapons in the world. There's not a weapon in the world he isn't proficient with – and that includes everything from guns to knives to his body. And then we have Tenten. If Neji is proficient with every weapon in the world, then Tenten is a _master_. Her hand-to-hand could use a little work (my Aikido is more advanced than hers), but she knows technology far better than I ever could. Tenten has the brains and Neji the brawn. In a fight, I would bet on them every time.

And yet, despite their combined expertise, when I think of that funny word _safe,_ I think of Gaara. Strange, how the world works.

* * *

It takes Tenten hours to finish questioning Gaara after my run-in with him in the Lobby. But she's satisfied when it is over. Apparently she grilled him "like steak on a barbecue, Hinata," and if he had anything to hide, he would've slipped up. He's as average as they come, apparently, but he can shoot well and take orders, so he's useful, at least.

I see him whenever I go down into the Lobby, and he nods at me, and I smile back at him, because maybe he doesn't like himself, but that doesn't mean that I can't like him.

Except on the Saturday, he's not there. I frown, because smiling at him has become habit, and now he's broken it, and I ask Neji if he knows anything.

"He hasn't been fired or quit, to my knowledge. And I would know about it if he had, Hinata. It's probably just his day off." Neji's eyes turn sharp when we leave the Hyuuga building, his muscles turn tense, waiting for danger. Always alert, is Neji, especially these days. I can't blame him, though. Stepping out on to the street is nerve-wracking for me. I hate being so exposed. Light-switch or not, will the bullet come? So fast it's buried in my brain before I can even hear the shot?

Neji and I quickly scurry into the bullet-proof car that is waiting for us at the curb, Tenten at the wheel.

"Ino's waiting for you at the uni, Hinata," she says as she accelerates into traffic. "I've booked you a private section in the library. No windows. You're there for three hours and then we're coming home, understand?"

"Sakura's meeting us too," I say, strapping my seatbelt on. It'll be good to see my friends again. I haven't seen them in weeks. Not since a little incident involving a truck and a boy with blood-red hair happened.

"No she's not," Tenten replies firmly, not taking her eyes off the road.

"What do you mean, she's not?" I demand, annoyed. "What have you done, Tenten? Sakura didn't try to kill me."

"No, she didn't," interjects Neji on Tenten's behalf. I can see the brunette looking at me through the rear-view mirror. "But her boyfriend's family did. And honestly we shouldn't even be letting you see Ino, considering Sakura's her best friend, but that girl scares me when she doesn't get her way, so you can see her."

I want to fight him, but I don't. He's looking out for me. Him and Tenten. Both of them would die for me on the spot, if they had to. They're just doing their job, and there's no point in me making it harder for them. Even if I do want to see Sakura.

We get to the uni with little incident (unless you count Tenten's road rage, in which case, there were plenty of incidents), and I make it inside the library alive. Tenten immediately begins to drag me off towards a near-deserted section of the library, when a glint of blood-red hair appears in the corner of my vision, and I dig my heels into the carpet, surprised and excited to see Gaara sitting at one of the computers.

* * *

 **So, um, yeah. I've started to get some ideas back for this story. Maybe that was my problem. Too much story and not enough plot or direction to go with it. Either way, I thought it would be really interesting to have Hinata actually know about her father's business. Hinata being kept in the dark has been done so often, it might spice things up a bit to have her actually know stuff for once.**

 **I'm really sorry I can't promise anything solid with this story. I've started to get a bit of it back, but I don't want to go off proclaiming that everything'll be fine and then have the writer's block hit in another five chapters, you know? I'll take the story off hiatus in the meantime though. And really, thank you for your support guys, it honestly means so much to me. I know I don't really deserve reviews, but can I ask for them anyway? Oh, and to _Guest_ reviewer, yes, I do plan to write SasuSaku again one day, but not right now. I'm really just loving the GaarHina fandom at the moment.**

 **Much love and more thanks, Alia xoxoxo**


	10. a casualty of idiocy

**Yeah… guess I deserved that. Still, thanks to** _ **watchingtherain1**_ **for reviewing, it honestly means a lot.**

 **A little chapter to commemorate the anniversary of when I first published this story! Hopefully I'll get out more than 10 chapters over the next 12 months... Some GaarHina interaction in this chapter. Should be able to start doing a lot more of that in the near future. Woo!**

* * *

 **Chapter 10 – a casualty of idiocy**

It didn't take a lot of effort to find out that the only place Hinata was allowed to go was the uni. And from there, the Uchiha were able to get me a username and password so I could access uni computers.

" _What did you study?"_

" _Mechanical engineering."_

" _Why?"_

" _Was useful for the army."_

" _Why haven't you brought it up until now?"_

" _I didn't finish the degree. Seemed unnecessary."_

" _Why are you at the uni now?"_

" _My apartment has no internet and the uni does."_

" _Good."_

And so, on the Saturday, when Hinata left to go to the uni, I made sure I was there too.

It's all about right place. I knew where Neji would bring Hinata in – or, at least, I knew where I'd bring her in if I was him – and so I got a computer close to it. Not too close; not obvious. Just close enough so that it looks like I stumbled in early this morning and grabbed the closest free computer. Large take-away long black gone cold in the cardboard cup next to me, baggy clothes and an old hoody. Headphones plugged in. Hood down, of course. I want to blend in, but not too much. If I wanted to properly blend in I'd be trying to kill her, and while that _is_ the ultimate goal, I don't want _them_ knowing that.

Plus, I need to get her shadows away from her long enough to strike the killing blow. There's no point in trying to kill Hinata again if I only hit Neji. Then they'll lock her away forever and I'll never get my shot.

Besides, I feel like I'd be breaking some kind of universal law if I killed Neji before his timer was up.

The meant-to-be-subtle-but-stand-out-like-a-sore-thumb guards dotted around the place start getting jittery, and I know immediately that Hinata is close. I keep my breathing steady, and focus on the web-page I'm mindlessly surfing. Try to ignore the ghostly apparitions floating above the heads of everyone in the room.

Mostly I try to ignore the fact that over half of the guards have just under four months rolling over their heads. My gut tells me that something is going to go down. Maybe a war between the Uchiha and Hyuuga. Maybe incited by my killing of Hinata. It doesn't bother me, though. Fugaku would have thought about this being a consequence. You can't kill your enemy's heir without a fallout. But more than that, my bones will be turning to dust in a shallow, unmarked grave by the time this war rolls around.

And then, there she is, dragging me out of my reverie. Flanked by an antsy Tenten and a constipated Neji, she looks calm as she approaches the front doors. I follow her with my peripherals, and when she's in a good spot, I let out an exaggerated, fake yawn, scratching the hair at the base of my neck. Then I go back to looking at the computer. All for show. All so that she'll see me. But make it look like an accident on my part. That's the intention, anyway.

I can see that she's stopped, and I can feel her eyes on me. And I don't even have to look at her to know what emotions will be playing over her face.

Not that I know her well enough to, mind. Just that I've studied the ever-loving shit out of this girl and if I didn't know what emotions were playing out on her face then I wouldn't be doing my job right.

"Gaara!" she calls out, and I look at her with tired, faux-surprised eyes.

I lift a tired hand in a wave of acknowledgement while dislodging one of my earphones with the other. There's no sound playing, but they don't need to know that. She immediately starts to walk over to me, but Neji stops her and says something to her in a low voice. I can't exactly make out what he's saying, but I can hazard a wild guess that he's telling her to keep moving. Don't come over here. Too risky. Blah blah blah. She narrows her eyes at him, but agrees, if her nodding her head is any indication. She turns on her heel and follows Tenten further into the library, a final wave directed at me with a pretty smile on her face. I give her a half smile back, then look back at my computer, playing a role, and pretend I can't feel Neji stalking towards me.

He pulls a chair up next to me, and I give him a brief look before turning back to the computer. "Hi," I offer, but he doesn't take it.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he hisses, his voice soft so no one else can hear us. I can detect a not-so-subtle threat in his voice, but pretend I don't.

Play the role.

"Just stealing some internet," I say. "My apartment doesn't have any."

Neji narrows his eyes at me and looks at the page I'm on: youtube. "What are you watching?"

I shrug. "Couldn't tell you. I clicked on some videos and now I'm on the weird part of youtube. Some kinda animal thing, I reckon." I can feel his trained eyes sweeping over me, looking for hidden weapons, anything that might suggest I'm here for any other reason. But he can't find one.

"How did you log in?" he asks, hoping I'll slip up. But I don't. I've played a thousand roles in my lifetime, and I'm not about to fuck this one up.

"I went to uni about… a year and a half ago? Did mechanical engineering for six months for the army, but ended up dropping it."

"And your username and password still work?"

"Yeah, somehow."

Neji doesn't quite buy it, the suspicious prick. "What uni did you go to?" he asks, and I get fed up.

"Look, I don't know what to tell you. Bun-bun over there already grilled me for _three hours_ the other day, I'm really not in the mood to get grilled again. Check my enrolments if you want, I went here. I don't care that you don't believe me, but I'm tired and it's my day off, so if you could just piss off, that'd be great, thanks." I turn back to my screen, wondering if I laid it on a bit too thick. But honestly, I _am_ tired, and sick of being grilled. I know I can't draw Hinata's attention without gaining the attention of her shadows, but _shit_ they're annoying.

Neji glares at me a few moments longer before getting up to leave without saying another word to me, and I let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

Within an hour, most of the bodyguards in the computer room have left, presumably to start checking the whole library. I've finished my cold coffee, and am feeling a little desperate for another, to be honest. And a smoke. A smoke would be good. Not that I smoke that often, mind, it's just nice to feel the poison trickle through my lungs every once in a while.

I start looking around for a coffee machine, when someone sits in the seat next to me.

"Look, Neji, how many times do I have to -" I begin, before I actually look at the person, and realise that – of all the people – Hinata is sitting next to me.

"Hey," she says, and lets a cheeky smile grace her face.

I'm dumbfounded for a moment, for once completely lost for words, and it must show on my face because she lets out a quiet laugh.

"Don't even ask how I got away," she says, and pulls the baggy hoody that she's wearing further over her face. "Because I'm not quite certain myself, to be honest. I don't have long, though. Neji will find out I'm gone pretty soon."

I nod, and look back at my computer screen in an attempt to not draw attention. I wonder if it's possible to kill her here and now. I glance at her from the corner of my eye. She's pulled her chair in up close next to mine and is nervously peering around the room, eyes wide, her fingers laced in front of her face. But no, the numbers above her head say she still has three weeks left, and my gut tells me that if I tried now, I'd fail. I learned to trust my gut a long time ago.

"What're you doing here?" I whisper out of the corner of my mouth, and she turns those pretty eyes of hers back to me.

"Isn't it obvious? I wanted to come say hi without you having a gun shoved in your face."

I can tell this won't end well – will end in a world of trouble for us both. And though I can't even begin to fathom her moronic reasoning, I go along with it. "Hi," I offer, and she smiles again, and I decide that I don't mind seeing her smile. She has a nice smile.

"How are you?" she asks me, hitching her chair a little closer.

"Tired," I say, letting out another – genuine, this time – yawn. "Was just about to go get another coffee. You?"

"Coffee sounds so good right now," she sighs. "Neji won't let me drink it anymore. Says it's too easy for someone to poison it."

"I'm pretty sure withholding coffee is illegal," I tell her, and wonder if I just made a joke. No, I don't joke.

"If it's not, it should be," she agrees. "Coffee aside though, I'm alright. My temple hurts, but, like, that's to be expected, right?" She glances around the room again, and tugs at her hoodie. "I'm glad it's cold in here, this jacket is so hot."

I let out the briefest chuckle, amused. She can be pretty funny sometimes. "How are you going… after that?" I shouldn't ask, I know, but curiosity is gnawing at me. Or maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

Her flinch is so subtle I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't watching so carefully. But it's there, accompanied by a slight hesitation in her answer. "I'm going alright," she says, a smile back on her face and a lie in her voice. "A bit shaken up, but who wouldn't be? Just, you know, taking it slow. Trying not to be scared of everything." She releases a soft laugh to mask the meaning behind her words.

"Must be weird knowing there's someone out there who wants to kill you," I say, and I guess I mean it. I feel bad for her. It's not her fault that her father is Hiashi Hyuuga. She's been caught up in a war that she should never have been a part of – a casualty of her father's idiocy. It won't stop me from killing her, but I do pity her.

"They keep telling me I'm safe, whatever that means," she says, looking back at me. "I don't know if I believe them, though. I mean, I managed to sneak out here without Neji or Tenten noticing, so surely I can't be _that_ safe."

"I wonder how long it'll take them to notice you're gone?" I muse. "You'll have to tell me how you got out some time. I'm interested to know."

"I think they'll notice in the next two minutes, and it'll take them another two to find me."

"If it takes Neji and Tenten a full two minutes to find you then they're worse at their job than I thought," I tell her.

"Yeah, but I'm wearing a disguise," she defends, playing with the rim of her hoodie, like it's the world's most brilliant illusion. "What do you think? Do you think we could make it out of the library before they notice?"

"I think if I tried Neji would turn my insides into my outsides," I tell her, and she winces.

"Fair point," she agrees. "You'll probably get in trouble for this too," she tells me. "You can blame this on me. I don't mind."

I roll my eyes at her. "Of course I'm blaming this on you. I'm the victim here."

"Oh poor, helpless Gaara," she giggles, and pushes her shoulder against mine. I push back.

"Pretty sure every time you do something stupid I'm the one who gets in trouble," I tell her.

"If I buy you another coffee can we call it even?" she asks, a smile on her lips.

"You owe me about a dozen coffees, then," I tell her, and she's about to reply before a yell reverberates through the room.

"Found her!"

It's Tenten, sprinting like a madman through the library towards Hinata. Neji appears a moment later and is hot on her heels. I groan and put my head in my hands. Fuck.

"Hinata, what the _fuck_ are you doing?" Tenten demands, screeching to a halt next to us. "Are you insane? Are you trying to get yourself killed? What is _wrong_ with you?" Neji draws up alongside Tenten then, and I quickly raise my hands in the air.

"This was all her," I tell him. "I had nothing to do with it."

"Save it, Sabaku," Neji spits at me, loathing in his eyes. "I'll deal with you later." He grabs Hinata under the arm and drags her away.

 _Sorry_ , she mouths at me, a sheepish smile on her face, hoodie having fallen down. I roll my eyes again, dreading the lecture I'm sure to face.

* * *

 **So I've planned up to chapter 22, so fingers crossed I've gotten my mojo back. Updates will be infrequent at least until the 9** **th** **of November, just because it's my final two weeks of uni. But after that I'm free!**

 **Thanks for reading guys. If this happens to find its way onto anyone's favourite list, it would mean the world to me if you could drop off a little review. But reviews are always appreciated anyway ;)**

 **Much love, Alia xoxo**


	11. bullseye

**Guess who has a 3000 word essay due tomorrow? This one! Guess who also hasn't started their 3000 word essay that's due tomorrow? Ffffff…**

 **Thank you to the lovelies who reviewed, they're the chocolates and inspirations of fanfiction and appreciated more than words.**

* * *

 **Chapter 11 - Bullseye**

 _They lead me out of the white room. Four men and women dressed in all white clothing. They say nothing to me, only hand me some white clothing of my own and wait for me to get dressed. I ask endless questions, but my words are met with silence._

" _Who am I?"_

" _Where am I?"_

" _What am I doing here?"_

" _Who are you?"_

" _What's happening to me?"_

 _They take me to an indoor firing range and guide me towards a booth. One of the men wordlessly hands me a handgun and I hesitantly take it, despite my gut begging me not to. The metal is cold and harsh and foreign and dangerous and heavy and I don't want it there._

" _Shoot," the man tells me, nodding at a target, and I'm shaking like he's slapped me._

" _How?" I ask, the question dropping into the chasm between us, and he narrows his eyes at me. He takes the gun from me and I flinch. I'm frightened but I don't know why._

 _He does a quick, silent run through of the mechanics and then shoots the target: a bullseye. "Now you," he says, and hands the gun back to me._

 _My fingers are clumsy and I nearly drop the gun I'm shaking so hard, but I manage to get the gun eye level. Breathe, take aim, squeeze the trigger._

 _Bullseye._

* * *

Neji drags me back to the Hyuuga mansion before I can even think about leaving, and I mentally brace myself against the tirade that is sure to come. Or, rather, brace myself against the _grilling_ that's sure to come. They're not difficult, just annoying. I feel like a broken record, repeating myself over and over again, singing the same old tune and they never fucking _listen_ to it. It's annoying as shit.

Probably part of their plan though. Sick bastards.

Neji leaves me in a locked room with nothing but a bottle of water for _four hours._ Four. Fucking. Hours. I want to kill something. Or someone. Preferably Hinata. Then myself.

Then, right on cue, right before I go _completely_ insane, Neji re-enters the room.

"Nice of you to show up, I was starting to miss you," I seethe from behind clenched teeth, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. Neji doesn't look at me as he sits down opposite me, and I roll my eyes. How infuriating. "So where were you?"

He finally settles annoyed eyes on me, as if his withering glare could melt me from existence. I'd be lying if I said I was disappointed that it didn't. "I was researching you," he says in reply. "I don't like you. That's not a secret. I don't trust you, and my gut tells me you're bad news. But Hinata likes you. She doesn't trust you, but she must be able to sense _some_ good in you. That, and, you pulled her from the path of a truck, so I suppose some thanks are in order. You won't get them from me, but know you have the Hyuuga's gratitude."

"And what does gratitude buy me?" I ask before I can stop myself.

"Your job," he replies curtly.

"But this leaves me in some sort of predicament," Neji continues. "I could fire you – and believe me, I want to – but that would also require informing Hinata. That wouldn't work for two reasons. She would be extremely upset by that, for starters. She's under enough stress already, and quite frankly I want to avoid upsetting her further. But secondly, and more importantly, Hinata can be rather… pig-headed when she wants to be. You wouldn't know it, looking at her, but if she wants to prove a point then you can bet she will. If I were to fire you then she would do something stupid just to punish me for it, and that would mean that she's putting herself in danger and, well… it wouldn't work. Unfortunately."

He sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, like he's trying to force himself to keep talking, despite desperately not wanting to.

"I could leave you down here in the foyer, but what's to stop Hinata from sneaking away again to see you? She's already proven that she can do it, and I can't physically guard her any more than I already am. She's bored, and as much as I try to reassure her, I can't convince her that I can keep her safe. Because I already failed to do that. But she feels safe with you. Probably because you succeeded where I failed, as much as I hate to admit it. You've already saved her life before."

There's a bitter edge to his voice that he doesn't bother to hide. Annoyance, frustration that he's been reduced to this.

"Your history checks out. You were born twenty-one years ago at Konoha Hospital, but were given up for adoption shortly after. You were never adopted out, and were bounced around through foster homes. You weren't abused, you just never fit any of the families. Can't say I blame them, you're a _pain in the arse,_ but whatever. You were a B grade student, not dumb but not especially talented. You dropped out in eleventh grade and made it into the army reserves. They pulled you in to line, somewhat. The best amongst your comrades in shooting, not a whole lot of rebellion. You did what you were told. You finished and you were given the option of going to war. Why didn't you, again?"

I shrug. "Didn't want to fight for a rich man's greed. I never wanted to go to war. Just wanted some kind of purpose. Wanted to belong somewhere, I guess."

He's looking at me through narrowed eyes. "Right. Well, night before your mates went away you got blind drunk, apparently, and got that moronic tattoo on your forehead. You came back to Konoha a month and a half ago, pulled the Heiress to the Hyuuga Clan from the path of a truck, and got a job as a security guard here. You are completely unexceptional, and I suppose that I should be relieved by that, but you still unsettle me."

"Maybe you're just looking for a reason to dislike me," I offer, and that gets an amused huff of air from him. Not a laugh, not a smile, but it's not disdain, so it's a start.

"Maybe," he agrees. "But either way, I can only think of one way to solve this problem you've given me. Hinata agrees, Tenten agrees, and Hiashi agrees, so I'll give you my offer and you can do with it what you will. You'll start guarding Hinata's floor. You won't be a personal guard to her, but you will help Tenten and I provide her with security. You answer only to Tenten or I. No one else. Not even Hinata. You won't get a raise out of this. The hours will be longer and you'll be required to do more. You will have to stay here some nights. You do nothing without mine or Tenten's express permission. You are _not_ guarding Hinata. You are guarding her floor. But this way she won't go running off somewhere crazy just to spite me. If she decides to see you she can. I am her guard, but she's a human being. I can't control her. I just want to keep her safe, and unfortunately it looks like keeping her safe requires having you in the picture. So there's my offer, what do you say?"

He looks at me expectantly, waiting for a fight. He's practically panting for one, the skin around his neck bristling with anticipation. Probably looking for any excuse to hit me, and while I'm certainly tempted to give him one, I won't push my luck.

I've just been given the key to getting closer. A huge leap forward in my task. I was wondering how the fuck I was going to get close enough to get her alone, and now the opportunity has been handed to me on a silver platter. But still, I'm suspicious. It can't be that easy, can it?

"What's the catch?" I ask, not trusting him.

"The only catch is that you get to be a greater thorn in my side. And that's more a catch for me, not for you. You're welcome to say no, I can't force you to accept this, and quite frankly it'd be a lot easier for me if you'd say no. Maybe Hinata wouldn't actually bother with you if she thought you didn't give a fuck. So you can take the offer or you can leave it, I honestly don't care. But it's there if you're interested."

He leans back in his chair and folds his arms over his chest, watching me quietly, waiting for my answer. And I look like I'm thinking it over for a second. Can't seem too eager, that'll arouse even more suspicion.

"Longer hours means I'll get paid more, right?"

"I said you wouldn't get a raise."

"Hourly rate raise. But overall I'll paid more because I'll be working more hours, right?"

He waits for a moment. "Yes, I suppose."

I look like I'm thinking it over a bit longer, weighing up the pros and cons, mirroring his position just to piss him off, and I match his stare. "Fine, I'll take the job," I tell him. "Now can I go?"

Neji inclines his head towards the door, and I leave as quickly as possible.

* * *

 **I intend to have some more GaarHina interaction next chapter, so yay!**

 **And now to get back to my essay… My degree will be finished in a week though, so that's a positive. If you could spare a review I'll send you all the love, lovely people. And if you happen to favourite, a review would mean the world.**

 **Love and thanks, Alia xoxo**


	12. elevation

**Holy shit I've finished my degree! This is madness! (or is it Sparta?)**

 **Thank you so much to the beautiful people who reviewed. All my love to you! Though guys, I had over 100 people read last chapter, and 3 people reviewed. Honestly I'm so incredibly grateful for every review I receive, but numbers like that do hurt a little. Knowing your thoughts means so much to me, it really does. Anyway, on with the chapter!**

* * *

 **Chapter twelve - elevation**

I'm not surprised to find Itachi sitting in my living room when I get home. I notice he's there the moment my door clicks shut – a shift in the air, a change in atmosphere, and he's sitting on my old worn couch. His fingers are laced patiently in front of his face, and he doesn't look at me when I step inside. Keep the lights off.

I walk cautiously towards him, then sit on my second, smaller and more worn couch; keep my eyes glued on his, lest I should look at the ghostly numbers above his head. I can see that they're there like a glamour in my peripherals, but I refuse to read them.

He waits until I've sat before he speaks. "Why is she not dead yet?" he asks me. Looking for reasons, not excuses. I know he's not trying to rush me; it's his way of asking for an update.

"I haven't had an opportunity to both kill her and get away safely yet," I tell him, voice professional.

"Does it matter if you get away safely?" he asks me, raising a brow.

"If they caught me they'd lock me up and interrogate me. I'm doing this so that I can die. If they caught me then that'd be completely out of my reach." We both know I wouldn't give away any information on the Uchiha. I've been tortured before. I'm prepared for it, but that doesn't mean I'll intentionally face it.

Itachi nods, accepting my reasons, and waits for me to keep speaking.

"I got promoted today. I'm to start guarding her floor. I won't be guarding her, per se, but it could present an opportunity."

He doesn't react to my news, merely sits on my couch, deep in thought. "Good," he finally says. "Do it as soon as you can. My father wishes to take the Hyuuga to war. If he can get them in the aftermath of Hinata's death – when they're consumed by grief and disorganised – then it will ensure our victory."

"The Uchiha are threatened by the Hyuuga?" I ask, almost surprised. I haven't known Fugaku to be threatened by anyone in years. Not since the Senju.

"Father refuses to underestimate Hiashi. He's a powerful man, and has chosen his allies well. To underestimate means to risk mistakes, and father refuses to make mistakes."

We sit in silence for a while, Itachi deep in thought, while I wait for him to speak or leave.

"Do you have any useful information on the Hyuuga? Anything on Hiashi?" he finally asks me, looking me in the eye once again.

"I've heard nothing on Hiashi. He keeps to himself. I don't know where he stays in the building or if he even stays there at all. The building, however, is extremely well guarded. The stairs and elevator are inaccessible unless you have a fingerprint and the permission of the desk clerk. The foyer is filled with guards. All of the windows are bullet-proof. The two guards in charge are Neji Hyuuga and a girl named Tenten. I don't know anything about them beyond that, except that they're making my job _annoying._ "

Itachi inclines his head, storing any important information away to tell his father. I'm not surprised by news of a war – I'd already started to guess that there might be one due to how many Hyuuga staff members had life clocks settled on the same time. I'm curious about why they're all so many months after I kill Hinata, but I'll be too dead to find out so it doesn't matter to me. I need to focus on the task at hand: killing Hinata. According to her life clock it'll happen in three weeks, and I'm itching for it.

Itachi stands up and heads towards the door. "Get it done soon, Gaara. I'll be watching."

I shudder as he leaves, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, and let out a sigh of relief. Itachi is intense, but I'm not surprised he's been sent to watch me. I wouldn't take anyone else seriously – except maybe Fugaku. But Fugaku is only my boss. Itachi could actually beat me. The only person in the world I know for certain could.

I just have to kill Hinata and then I'm free. Three more weeks until sweet, blissful freedom.

* * *

I get to the Hyuuga mansion five minutes before my shift is due to start. First day as a guard on Hinata's floor; don't fuck it up. I might not get another chance at this, so _don't fuck it up._ Her life clock isn't set in stone. That's been proven twice. So _don't fuck it up, dammit._

I walk past all the guards I use to work with, stare at them from my peripherals, watch the looks on their faces go from boredom to _why the fuck aren't you going to your spot, idiot? Do you have a death wish?_ I mean, yes, but not in these circumstances. Satisfaction seeping from my footsteps, I approach the desk clerk: a man with thick black blocks for eyebrows and a black bowl cut. His nametag says _Lee._

"Sir, I must ask you what you are doing here," he says, his voice grandiose. It takes me a moment to realise he's being serious and not auditioning for _My Fair Lady._

"Uh…" I start, unsure of what to say. Did Neji not tell the desk clerk of my promotion? Is this all some sick joke to humiliate me? Is he trying to make me quit? I gather myself quickly, arrogance back in place. "I'm Gaara. Neji promoted me yesterday. I'm to start working on Hinata's floor."

"Of course, sir!" Lee salutes me _(is this guy real?)_ and then dials a number on the phone. I quickly remember the number (4-9-4-3) and store it away in my memory, noting that I might need to tell Itachi that. War and all that. Could be important. A few moments later, and more than a few extravagant words and arm movements later, my fingerprint has been registered into the database and I'm hustled into the elevator. I'm surprised to note (though I really shouldn't be) that there are two guards in the lift, standing to attention, muscles tense and waiting for action. And it clicks.

The foyer is filled with guards. But they're not specially trained. They all know how to use a gun and they all know how to follow orders, but they're the literal embodiment of what I'm pretending to be: guys who were in the army and just needed a little extra money after they left for whatever reason and so took up a guard job. But it was moronic of me to think that those were the only types of guards that the Hyuuga have. They're almost like a diversion; they're fodder for the slaughter, should it come to that. To let enemies (the Uchiha) assume that the only type of guards they have are generally trained henchmen. Because apart from Tenten and Neji, those are the _only_ guards we see. But of _course_ the Hyuuga have better guards. Specially trained guards, elites, masters of their trade. These guys in the lift are already head and shoulders above everyone in the foyer, and they're only in the _lift_. I mean, I know I'm better than both of these guys, and every other guard in this building (and I know because I have the reputation. Neji, apparently, has a bit of one, and frankly I've never heard of Tenten, but I _know_ they've heard of me. They just don't know it's _me_ ) but the Hyuuga don't know that. Is Neji trying to intimidate me? Probably. Well, jokes on him, I guess.

The two guys in the lift are armoured up to their teeth in hidden weapons, and they glance at me from the corner of their eye as we ascend.

"So… you guys guard the lift?" I ask, only antagonising them a _little_ bit.

They don't answer.

"So your job is to ride the elevator all day."

They still don't answer, though I can _feel_ them get a little more tense. It's funny.

"Guess this job has its ups and downs," I continue as the floor number gets higher and higher. "Bet you two are really close. There'd be so many levels to your relationship."

The atmosphere is so thick it'd take a machete to hack through. I shouldn't be enjoying myself as much as I am.

"I guess this kind of environment really elevates the emotions, doesn't it?"

We arrive at floor _78_ , and I get out and wave to my two red-faced companions. "Thanks for the chat guys, you really lifted my spirits!" The doors close before they can kill me, and I finally allow myself to grin. They've probably heard all that before, but it made _me_ feel better, and frankly, after Itachi I needed a pick-me-up. I turn around and Tenten's waiting for me, arms folded tightly in front of her chest, feet standing shoulder-width apart, a small arsenal of weapons hidden around her body.

"Antagonising the guards?" she asks with a raised brow.

I shrug. "They make it easy," I say, then follow her as she walks away.

"Hiring you was a mistake," she states.

"Too late now," I retaliate. We pass other guards, and like the ones in the elevator, it's obvious that these guys are on a whole other level than the foyer guards – literally and metaphorically. "Where are we going?" It doesn't look like she's taking me to a station, and frankly I have no weapons on me. I feel practically naked around all these tanks.

"I'm going to assess you. I need to know what your abilities are. Then I can place you." She ushers me to a large, empty room and takes me to a soundproof firing range at the far end. She asks me to suit up and I put on the offered glasses and earmuffs, then take the glock she gives me. "Shoot the target," she orders and, swallowing my pride because _dammit_ this is more important, I aim and fire.

Bullseye. Not that I'd expected anything else.

* * *

 **It's nearly 1am here because sleep is for the weak and I have a story to update. All my writing inspiration comes for this story as I'm getting into bed, not gonna lie.**

 **Anyway, what did you guys think? I'm so sorry there wasn't GaarHina in this chapter, I'd honestly intended to put it in and then the chapter took me in a slightly different direction and ugh. But I PROMISE there will be GaarHina next chapter. Even if I have to write it in myself! Wait…**

 **Can you tell I'm tired? Anyway, reviews are love, reviews are life, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed my exhausted attempt at humour and I hope you're all having wonderful days.**

 **LOVE xoxoxo**


	13. prove

**It's like, 3 in the morning, because who needs sleep? Ha. Haha. (me pls).**

 **Firstly, I'd like to thank John Wick for inspiring me to write this chapter (and this story shhhh) and second I'd like to thank google for teaching me how to fight in ten minutes. And last, as always, I want to thank the lovely people who left a review last chapter, you beautiful people keep this story going and I'm literally writing for you (kiss).**

* * *

 **Chapter thirteen – prove**

There's a radio playing in the room where Tenten tests me. The static grates like insects over the words, setting my teeth on edge. I think she's done it on purpose. Trying to throw off my game.

It's not working.

She tests me on over a dozen different firearms, all with different weights, recoil, firing time, bullet size, you name it. I try not to show off, but once I relax into a routine it's hard not to. I want them to know I'm good – good enough to keep close, good enough to keep around – but not too good. Not good enough to be suspicious. Not good enough to set the bloodhounds on my trail.

Tenten reminds me of a bloodhound. Loyal to a fault, deadly, once her sight is set on something she won't let it go.

And she's good with weapons. Scary good. Good enough to impress me, and that's a feat in and of itself. Good enough that I want to know who the _fuck_ she is, because I've never heard of her before and that's unnerving. She could pin a fly with a kunai from fifty feet away. (She's not _quite_ as good as me, but she doesn't know that and she doesn't need to know that. She's close though. Close enough to be uncomfortable.)

I wish she'd turn that _damn_ radio off, though. She wears a little smirk on her face that's almost as irritating as the static, and I wish she'd wipe it off. She's probably enjoying my annoyance. Psychopath.

But when I've fired at least one round from all the weapons in the room, she takes me over to some mats. "Wait here," she says. "You need to try out one last weapon before we can place you. You're pretty good, I'll give you that. Better than I was expecting, honestly. Probably better than half the guys out there, if I'm being honest with you. Neji doesn't like you and I don't like you much either, but I'm not stupid, and neither is he. If you can be of use to the Hyuuga and to Hinata, we'll use you. Simple as that."

I take her compliment, a bit of pride trickling through my veins. I know I'm good, but it's nice to have it confirmed.

Better to have it confirmed by someone who doesn't like you. But still, I have to ask, "What's the last weapon?" There's no other weapons in the room; we've tried everything; I've nailed everything: every gun an extension of my arm, every knife hit its mark.

"Neji," she tells me, and leaves the room, presumably to get His Royal Constipated-ness. It sounds pretentious, _Neji is a weapon._ I want to laugh at how absurd it all is, but knowing that I am also, technically, a weapon sobers me. Nothing like being lethal to ruin the mood, I guess.

I think about taking one of the weapons, a small one, one they won't notice missing, but the glint of a camera quickly erases the idea from my mind. I'm being watched. Of course I'm being watched. Taking a weapon, even a small one, will land me a one-way ticket to a Hyuuga cell, and if they're anything like the Uchiha cells (which I can hazard a wild guess that they are) then they'll be impossible to break out of. And I can kiss sweet goodbye to death and all of his friends for the foreseeable future, which'll be a _lot longer than I'd like_.

If I'm caught. Which I would be. Because _killing people is bad, Gaara, geeze. If you're going to kill someone at least make sure you're not caught by cameras. Stupid._

But I know one thing I can do that won't land me in prison.

I almost gleefully turn that _fucking radio_ off. And oh, silence is glorious. Sweet, sweet, non-grating silence. It's like music to my ears, but better, because there's no music playing.

The door opens and I turn back to where Tenten left me. Play by their rules, Gaara, like the good little Demon you are.

"You turned the radio off," says Tenten, entering first.

"I did," I reply, unable to hide a sliver of happiness.

She narrows her eyes at me, then goes to turn it back on. I want to stab her.

But my attention has shifted, because Neji has entered the room, followed closely by Hinata. Of course. They're her watchdogs. As if they'd let her go anywhere without either of them. Especially after her stunt in the library.

"How's your hand to hand, Sabaku?" Neji calls out, and starts stretching. Hinata goes to stand by the door, and Tenten stands next to her, the radio back on. I watch her from my peripherals and start warming myself up.

"Pretty good," I reply. _Better than good,_ I think to myself. Second only to Itachi. Always second only to Itachi. The man's a freak. The man's a prodigal contradiction: of course the best fighter in the whole of the Uchiha Corporation is a pacifist.

I'm not.

"Tenten said you're half decent with the weapons," he continued, a question hiding behind the façade of a statement.

"I _was_ the best shooter amongst my comrades," I lie, but he doesn't know it's a lie.

"True."

We finish preparing. We've both taken our shirts off until we're in singlets. And I'll give it to him: Neji is _built._ Underneath all those clothes he usually wears he's a fucking _tank_. His long dark hair has been pulled back off his face and his eyes are narrowed at me.

"Just fists," he says. "No head-butting. Use whatever martial arts you know. No eye sockets or anything like that. A clean fight. Got it, Sabaku?"

"Sure," I say, getting into position. Find my centre of gravity, lean back on my right foot, left fist in front of my face, right next to my cheek. Thumb wrapped over the top of your fingers, not underneath Gaara, you'll break your thumb, stupid. Don't go for the jaw or cheek or forehead, they're too hard, you'll only hurt yourself. Floating ribs, nose, groin, throat, knees. Those are the places to attack.

Neji mirrors me, and I can see thoughts swirling behind his irises. Where's he gonna strike?

"Best of three," he says, and then the fight starts.

He goes for my ribs first, and I lean into the hit, taking it with my abdominals, protect the liver. It hurts like hell, but I'm not winded at least. I take the chance to go for his knees, but he avoids my kick, and we quickly fall into a routine of strike, dodge, miss, repeat.

Neji's punches hit with the force of a truck, and I quickly realise that he's the worst kind of fighter: he knows what he's doing. Whoever trained this guy did their job, and they did it _well._ He's a fucking good fighter.

He gets me in the nose, and I can feel blood start to gush. It runs down my throat and I spit it out before I choke on it.

I get him back in the ribs, and though I don't wind him properly I do knock the air out of him. His movements start to slow, and so do mine, but neither of us lose focus. This is the testing round. What are his strengths? What are his weaknesses? He's stronger than I am, but I'm faster than he is. We can both take a hit. Time slows around us, but I know I have to let him win. I reckon I could beat him, just. But only if I was really trying. Only if I needed to win. It'd be a hard fight, but I could do it.

Within minutes the fight is over. Neji wins with a swift kick to my knees, wrecking my balance, and he's got me in a headlock before I can blink. We're both panting, sweat trickling, and that fucking radio is grating in my ears again.

Hinata watches silently from the sidelines. If our fight has fazed her, she doesn't show it, and I feel a begrudging respect.

Neji and I take a break before the next round. One minute. Enough time for some water, to come back up for air, and then we're at it again.

Our movements are slower this time, but we're more familiar with how each other fights. Play it smarter. Don't take unnecessary risks.

I win the second round, just to prove to him that I can. I hit his nose hard enough to make him stumble, and strike his ribs before he can recover, and then he's on the ground and I've won.

We're tied. I know he's going to win the final round. I have to let him win the final round. If I beat him two out of three, it'd be suspicious. I know that Neji is their best fighter. The Hyuuga have a hard on for him something chronic. If I were to _beat_ him I'd risk exposing myself. Winning one round was a risk, but a necessary one. He needs to know that I'm good. He needs to know that I'm valuable. Valuable enough to keep close. Valuable enough to let the guard down around me. But not good enough to be a genuine threat. Not good enough to suspect me.

They've built the legend of the Demon – the legend of _me_ – up enough that they have no doubt he'd finish them all off within seconds if he wanted to. And I could finish them off if I wanted to. Maybe not within _seconds_ , but certainly within a few minutes. Should the opportune moment arise.

We take a break and then the third and final round commences. No shock to anyone, Neji wins. We're both panting and sweat stained by the end of it, blood running down both our faces and I can feel bruises forming all over my torso. But it's over and I reckon I've proven myself to them both.

What shocks me is when Neji offers me his hand to help me up. "I still don't like you," he tells me as I stand, and I wheeze out a little laugh at that. _What a surprise._ "But I can respect that you're a very talented fighter. No one's challenged me like that in a while. Not since the last time Hinata and I sparred, anyway."

I look at her, surprised. I didn't know she could fight. I'll have to ask her about that.

Neji walks away then, and I retreat to the nearest bench and collapse onto it, holding my side. _Christ_ Neji can throw a _hell_ of a punch. I sit there a moment, trying to control my breathing and ignore the blood still running from my nose. Just lean forward and try not to choke on it.

But then a towel is held out to me, and I look up to see Hinata's eyes looking at me, concerned.

"He hits hard, doesn't he?" she says gently, kneeling to get a better look at the damage. I glance over and see Tenten holding out a towel to Neji, watching Hinata like a hawk.

"Does he pump his fists full of lead or something?" I asks, though honestly it wouldn't surprise me.

"No," she replied, procuring an icepack. I take the towel and hold it beneath my nose. "He used to practice punching so much that now he can barely feel anything in his fists."

 _Wonderful,_ I think to myself, taking the ice and awkwardly holding it against my side.

"Here, let me," she offers, seeing my inept juggling of towel and ice pack.

"I stink, Hinata," I tell her, and it's not a lie, though it's not the reason. I just don't want her to get too close. It's… uncomfortable.

She ignores me and brushes my fingers aside, holding the ice pack against my bruised ribs.

"You were good out there," she states, not a question. "Really good. You actually managed to beat Neji in a round. I haven't seen that happen in a while."

"And you can fight," I say, though the sound is muffled by the towel.

She blushes a little, but nods her head. "I've been trained in Aikido since I was about five."

"You must be pretty good then."

"I can match Neji and beat Tenten," she answers, keeping her eyes down, though there's a smile on her lips and pride in her voice. "But Tenten's not really a hand-to-hand fighter. She's the weapons expert. Though, to be honest, she doesn't really need hand to hand. It's not like anyone could get close to her anyway."

I concur, though I don't tell her that.

My nose stops bleeding and I wipe the last vestigial pieces of blood off my face, then use a clean part of the towel to try and wipe some of the sweat off my body. Hinata sits silently next to me, those curious eyes of hers burning a hole in my soul. I refuse to meet her gaze, and won't admit that it's because I'm afraid of what I might see there, swimming in those pools of moonlight.

But then Tenten calls her over and the moment's broken, and I feel my muscles relax when I hadn't even realised they'd tensed.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" she says, handing me the ice pack and taking my bloodied towel.

"Yeah," I reply, finally meeting her gaze. She smiles at me, then goes back to Tenten.

"Showers are in the back corner, Sabaku," Tenten calls over to me, brown eyes fixed firmly on me now that Hinata's back with her. "I'll meet you out the front of these doors in fifteen minutes, understood? Get yourself cleaned up."

I stand up (with some difficulty) and walk towards the showers, ignoring her words. And as I pass it, I turn the radio off, a satisfied smile on my face.

* * *

 **I've become obsessed with Hamilton lately. I'm not sorry.**

 **Thank you for reading. If anyone happens to favourite,** _ **please**_ **leave a review. I have a lot of silent readers and it does hurt a bit. I write for you guys, and hearing your thoughts means to world to me.**

 **I hope your day is as wonderful as you :)**

 **\- Alia, xoxo**


	14. Matsuri

**Happy late New Year and Happy Holidays everyone! I hope that, no matter what you celebrate, you had a wonderful time!**

 **Sorry this chapter took a while, I've been stupidly busy this last month and have barely had time to breathe, let alone write, so…**

 **As always, thank you so very much to the people who left me a review, there are no words to describe how much it means to me :) xx**

* * *

 **Chapter fourteen – Matsuri**

 _I walk in to the room, head held high, arrogant in my confidence. I've been called to meet with Itachi – an honour, truly. Men would kill –_ do _kill – for a chance like this. Men spend their whole lives waiting on a whisper of hope that Itachi has noticed them._

 _And eighteen year old me has the honour._

 _Itachi is sitting on a new leather couch when I enter the room. It's decorated simply, created for business, not recreation. Kisame stands behind him, alert but at ease, knowing that no one could touch them, even if they wanted to._

 _I stay standing. I've been given the honour of meeting with Itachi. The honour of sitting with him is a whole other matter._

" _You called?" I say, unable to help the respect that enters my voice._

" _Yes," Itachi replies, his voice a bored monotone. "I have a project for you."_

 _I'm taken aback. A project? From_ Itachi? _I fought alongside him against the Senju, gained a reputation from the blood I spilt that night, shot through the Uchiha ranks, but overall nothing much has changed. The jobs have gotten harder, but I relish the challenge. However, a job from Itachi is a rare thing indeed. "What kind of project?" I ask, reigning in my excitement._

 _He doesn't say a word, merely flicks his fingers and the doors I'd just walked through re-open. I turn around to look, and a ragged girl stumbles in, brown hair matted and dark eyes frightened._

" _This is Matsuri," Itachi tells me, and I look back at him, confusion on my face. "You have six months to train her."_

* * *

When I leave the training room Tenten is waiting for me. In her arms she holds a handgun in its holder, a machete in its sheath, and some throwing knives. She hands them to me the moment I exit the room, and orders that I put them on. Then she swivels on her heel and leads me silently down a hall, past the elevator.

"This is Hinata's floor," she tells me. "It's split into two halves, and this hall keeps them separate. In the back half we have the training room and the guard's room."

"Why do the guards need their own room?" I ask her as we pass one of the guards stationed in the hall.

"Because sometimes the guards have night shift, or an early start, and it's easier for them to sleep here than go home and come back. Are you done asking stupid questions?"

I remain silent and she takes that as assent.

"Anyway. In the front half we have Hinata's area. You'll see it in a minute and I'll show you around."

We reach the end of the hall and go around the wall, and I'm met with a huge open space, easily ten times the size of my crappy little apartment. I can't help but gawk at it, eyes practically bugging out of my head.

"This level was built to be self-sustainable. Hinata does not technically need to leave. We're standing in the kitchenette. All of her meals are prepared here, under Neji's or my supervision. Next to us is the dining room. I assume I don't need to tell you what that's for. In front of us is the living room, and at the end there is Hinata's bedroom. That room is strictly off limits to you and everyone except me, Neji, and Hinata. If you so much as touch the door handle without our permission, I will disable you faster than you can blink. You're being assigned to the living room. Congratulations. Most start off in the hall, but you're pretty impressive, and Neji and I figured your talents were wasted back there. The fact that Hinata likes you helps. It'll be good for her to see someone other than Neji and myself around. Anyway, that's the tour. If you need to use the bathroom there's one in the training room and in the guard's room. Keep your weapons sheathed at all times unless there is danger. If you get your weapon out for any reason other than to defend Hinata or clean it, I will disable you. Understand?"

I nod my head, looking around, something feeling a bit off. I stew on it for a moment, trying to figure it out, when it clicks.

"Why are all the curtains closed?" I ask, realising that the unnatural light is what had me confused. And it's true, I realise. There were huge floor-to-ceiling windows stretching right along this floor when I tried to kill her, and all of the curtains had been flung open, making my view completely unobstructed. Now, dark, heavy curtains claim the skyline, erasing the city from view. Not even a chink of sunlight has been allowed to filter through, and I crease my brow in question.

"Hinata won't let them be open," Tenten says, and I detect something like sadness in her tone. So subtle it's not even an idea, but it's there in her voice. "She panics whenever they're opened. She's convinced that the Demon will kill her the moment one of those curtains is open, so we keep them closed twenty-four seven." Tenten's eyes have a little crease of worry nibbling at them as she looks at the curtains. "Don't let her fool you, Gaara. Hinata's petrified of the Demon. She tries to hide it, but it shows in little ways."

I ingest the information, and it tastes sour on my tongue. "Does she feel like this about other windows?" I ask, thinking back to the library. There were open windows there.

"If the windows are large, yes. But generally it's just these ones. This floor was her safe space, and the Demon shattered that safety. The windows make her feel unsafe, so we cover them, and it helps. The Demon hasn't invaded other places, so she feels safer in those."

"Why don't you move her then?" I ask, thinking it seemed logical.

"Because this is probably the safest floor in this building for starters, and because Neji and I know it like the back of our hands. We know every crevice of this floor, and so when something's wrong, we can find it easily and quickly. New territory is dangerous and unknown. We won't risk her safety just because we don't know our environment."

I nod, figuring it makes sense.

"What about the lights? Do they ever go off?"

"No," Tenten says, her voice sharp as glass. "You are not to turn _any_ of these lights off. Ever. Do you understand? Do not open the curtains, do not turn the lights off."

I'm surprised at the vehemence in her voice, like poison dangling from the edge of a blade, and can't help but question, "Why?"

"Because turning the light off was the last thing she did before the Demon attacked her. It's an irrational fear. She knows that, so don't go making her feel like an idiot for it. She can't help it. Whenever someone turns a light switch off, she panics and thinks that she's going to get shot again at any moment. So don't turn the light switches off. We've worked hard to make her feel something resembling safe. Don't go ruining all of our progress over one stupid light switch."

I nod my head, piecing together this new profile of Hinata, and I'm honestly surprised by how much my assassination attempt has traumatised her. She's seemed so calm and collected whenever I've seen her. "Anything else I should know?" I ask.

Tenten narrows her eyes at me, indecision swimming in her chocolate irises, unsure how much she should say. I roll my eyes back at her.

"If it's my job to protect her then I should know what to expect from her, at least," I push, trying not to sound too interested.

Tenten stays silent a moment longer, sizing me up, deciding whether it's safe to trust me in any way, and then she relents.

"Hinata has nightmares," she says, then looks around, presumably to make sure Hinata's not in earshot. "And not your average, run-of-the-mill nightmares, either. They're bad. Intense. So when you're on nightshift and you hear her screaming, let me and Neji handle it. You'll only make it worse."

"So these nightmares happen often?"

"Every night. Multiple times."

I can't help but feel bad for her, but I quickly temper the thoughts. It's not my job to feel bad for her. It's my job to kill her. And that's what I'm going to do.

* * *

I barely see Hinata over the next few days. She'll leave her room sometimes, accompanied by Neji and Tenten always, and she'll smile and wave and me, and I'll nod back, and then she disappears into the hallways and doesn't return for a few hours. I have no idea where she goes or what she does, and it drives me nuts that I can't follow, but I breathe in and out and think of murder and calm down.

 _Patience, Gaara._

But three days later I'm sitting on the couch, bored shitless because there's _nothing to do around here,_ and I can't even put a bullet in my brain because _If you get your weapon out for any reason other than to defend Hinata or clean it, I will disable you_ and then I'd get locked away and it's really hard to commit suicide when you're being questioned, you know?

And then, Hinata sits next to me and smiles her pretty smile at me while Neji sits across from us, a cloud of suspicion and annoyance hanging over his head.

"Hey," Hinata says to me, and I turn to look at her, trying to get a read on her face. It's friendly and open and trusting and I feel for a moment like I want to protect her, not kill her, but then I stamp that thought from my brain before it has time to form.

"Hi," I say back, glancing towards Neji. He rolls his eyes at me and leans back in his chair, and I would think that he's relaxing were it not for the fact that his muscles are tighter than a virgin. "What are you doing?" To be fair, I am genuinely curious. Doesn't she have other shit to do?

"Sitting, I think. What are you doing?" She smiles again, and I wonder at how someone who seems so happy is also scared of light switches and windows.

"My job," I reply, and turn away from her.

"How is it?"

"Boring."

"Oh." She turns to look at Neji, and they exchange a silent conversation that I'm not privy to, before she turns back to me.

"Neji says you don't have any siblings, but I think you do. Do you?"

"He was given up for adoption, Hinata," Neji says, bored. "Even if he has siblings he wouldn't know about them." He's annoyed that he has to sit through this, but Hinata's persistent and wants to know, so I think of an answer to satisfy them both. The lie manifests itself on the tip of my tongue, falling like silk on their ears.

"Sort of," I say, and I look back at Hinata. "She wasn't blood, but we were close. She was probably one of my best friends at the time. We got along really well and she adored me and I adored her. We just clicked. She was the daughter of one of my foster families. She was only nine and I was twelve. It probably wasn't on my file," I say and turn to Neji, attempting to placate him before he can accuse me of lying about my whole identity. Which I am, but he doesn't know that and he doesn't need to know that. "I was only with that family for about six months before I was moved again."

"Why were you moved?" Hinata asks, and my attention goes back to her.

"Because I was caught shoplifting and her parents didn't want me influencing her," I lie. "Which is a shame. I reckon I could've been happy with that family. They were probably the best family I was ever with."

"Did you keep in contact with her?" Hinata asks me, curiosity a star in her eyes.

"No."

She looks crestfallen at that, and I'm confused as to why she would be so invested in a person she's never even met. "Why?" she queries, baffled. "If you got along so well, surely you must've tried to -"

"She's dead," I say quickly, silencing her before she can say any more. Hinata looks horrified. "Hit and run a few weeks after I left."

Hinata looks like she's going to be sick, and tears well in her eyes. "Oh Gaara, I'm so sorry, that's horrible…"

She goes to put her arms around me, but thinks better of it before she does.

"Don't worry about it. It was almost ten years ago, I'm over it now."

We sit in awkward silence for a moment, Hinata looking ashamed of herself and Neji looking like he wants to say _I told you don't ask him._

"What was her name?" Hinata asks me quietly, hesitantly, like she's scared she'll say the wrong thing.

I say it before I have time to think, but the name doesn't sound wrong on my tongue. Maybe because this makes the lie even somewhat true. "Matsuri."

* * *

 **I'm curious as to what your opinions on all this are, especially the little flashbacks I've been doing. No matter your thoughts, I'd love to hear them :)**

 **Reviews are always appreciated, and honestly, nothing motivates me more. Thank you for reading, and sending lots of love!**

 **\- Alia xoxo**


	15. hold it to the temple

**Hey guys… I know it's been a while. I went overseas for a couple of weeks and didn't have my laptop with me, and I've started back at uni now too. I'm doing a masters in law, a diploma in music, and working this semester, so I'll be doing, like, 90 hour weeks and time is just not a thing. I'll try and get out new chapters whenever I can, I just beg that you can continue your wonderful patience with me xx**

* * *

 **Chapter 15 – hold it to the temple**

 **Hinata Speaks.**

I don't like feeling vulnerable. The aikido helps with that. Neji and I train for at least an hour per day, and since the attempt on my life I train harder, faster, pushing myself to limits I never knew I had.

Neji lands a kick on my side, throwing me off balance, and I fall to the ground, winded. The pain is intense, and I clutch my ribs, gasping for air.

"That shouldn't have landed, Hinata," he says, crouching down to be eye-level with me. "You're too good for that. What's distracting you? Are you okay?"

I look at eyes that are so like mine, and find I can't tell him what's on my mind. Which is a first. I've always been able to confide in Neji, no matter how embarrassing or tedious or sensitive the subject. "I… nothing," I say, allowing him to help me to my feet. "Just thinking. It's nothing important."

Gaara started guarding my floor four days ago, and I've barely thought of anything else since. I can't get him out of my head, and it's frustrating. Maybe I'm just desperate for human attention. I've barely seen my friends in a month. I saw Ino five days ago at the library, but apart from that I've had only Neji and Tenten for company. And as much as I do love them, the repetition gets dull.

I miss Sakura. I never thought I'd form a genuine attachment to her, but she quickly rose to be one of my closest friends.

Upon entering Konoha, father gave me a list of people to befriend – people who would help us defeat the Uchiha, if it came to blows, which it will. Sakura, being Sasuke Uchiha's girlfriend, was on that list. It became evident very quickly that Sasuke, and by extension Sakura, knew very little of the inner-workings of the Uchiha Corporation.

But I couldn't quite bring myself to drop that friendship. Sakura's too good, too loyal, for me to want to give up. And though my father has discouraged it, I have told him that it'd be odd if I didn't make friends in Konoha. And through Sakura, I made so many more friends. I met Ino, and despite the fact that she's obnoxious to a fault, I grew very close to her. And I met Naruto, who I won't deny to having had a little crush on. I even became sort-of friends with Sasuke, though Neji didn't like that one bit (we could never truly become friends, considering our family's rivalry. We both knew that and neither of us begrudged each other for it). And considering Fugaku's apparent unwillingness to involve Sasuke in his family's affairs, I saw no genuine threat in retaining the acquaintance.

"Hinata," Neji says, breaking me out of my reverie, and I colour as I look back at him. "Are you sure you're alright? You keep losing focus."

I smile reassuringly and get back into position, mirroring his stance. "Just thinking. I miss my friends. I wish I could see them."

He looks surprised for a moment, then drops his arms and runs agitated fingers through his hair. "Hinata," he says, allowing a little pain to filter into his voice. "I can't… you know I can't -"

"I understand why," I assure him quickly, dropping my arms. "I don't blame you. I just… it doesn't stop me from missing them." I give him a half-hearted smile, ignoring the feeling of lead pumping into my heart.

Neji sighs and goes to get a drink of water, passing me a bottle in the process. I hold it in my hands, feel the condensation pool in the crevices of my fingers, and force back the tears that have risen, unwelcome, into my eyes. "The Demon has remained silent for over a month, Neji," I say, quieter and less confident than I intend. "Surely… if I were a priority… surely we would've encountered it again by now? I just… I can't stand being in this building anymore. I'm so tired of being scared all the time. This isn't living, Neji. I'm just… I'm just existing here." I choke back tears, frustrated at how childish they make me feel. The heir to the Hyuuga Clan shouldn't cry. The heir to the Hyuuga Clan should be strong, calm, steady in the face of adversity.

Neji wraps me in his arms, and I allow myself to sob into his chest, feeling my legs give out a little beneath me. He rubs soothing circles into my back, letting me spill my emotions into his shirt. "I'm so _tired,_ Neji. I can't sleep anymore. Th-the nightmares just keep getting worse. This c-calm before the storm is like s-sandpaper on my nerves. I'm s-so stressed and anxious and I k-keep trying to hide it because I need to be strong but it's so _h-hard._ I d-don't want to d-die. I'm s-so s-scared. Why m-me? What d-did I d-do? Why d-doesn't the D-Demon g-go after my f-father? A-and what if th-the D-Demon does c-come after m-me again? W-what if y-you can't p-protect m-me? W-what if i-it's t-too s-strong? Y-you know what th-the D-Demon did t-to the S-Senju. Th-that was a _whole C-Clan_ of p-people. There w-were m-more of th-them th-than there are o-of us. And the D-Demon and I-Itachi t-took out a-all of th-them in a s-single n-night! T-two m-men against h-hundreds of S-Senju, and th-they c-came out on t-top. W-what ch-chance do we s-stand? If the D-Demon has ch-chosen m-me to b-be its n-next v-victim, h-how m-much l-longer d-do I h-have?"

"Hinata," Neji says sternly and shakes me a little. "Calm down."

I struggle to get control of my breathing, trying to get that embarrassing stutter back under control. It's a testament to my stress that it's re-surfaced.

"Calm down," he repeats, a little more gently this time. "I know how terrifying this is. I do, I truly do. And if the Demon shows its head again, I'll be ready. I'll die before I let the Demon touch you again. Shh, it's okay, everything will be okay, just breathe, it'll be alright."

I work to get a hold of myself before speaking again, trying to swallow that stammer. "W-we…" I take a breath and let it out slowly, getting my nerves back under my control. "We don't even know what the Demon looks like. How can we be ready for it if we don't even know who _it_ is?" I say the words slowly, tasting each one before releasing it into the air, desperately trying to calm down.

"Tenten's working on it," says Neji, and I'm surprised by the news.

"Since when?" I ask, looking up at him.

"Since shortly after the attempt on your life. She didn't want to say anything and scare you, but she's been trying to hack into the Uchiha's database for weeks to try and get those files. They have some strange encryption that stops her from getting through, but she's getting there slowly. If she can find just one photo, or a name, or something, we'll get it, and make sure it can never hurt you again."

"Are you sure you can beat it?" I ask before I can help myself. I don't doubt Neji's abilities, I just don't know what the Demon's are.

"I think that if anyone stands a chance it's Tenten and I," he says with attempted confidence, and I see through his façade in a moment.

"I want to know how to protect myself, if I have to," I tell him, stepping away.

He looks confused and says: "You're already a master at aikido, Hinata. Very few could stand against you."

I shake my head. "That's not what I'm talking about. I want to know how to shoot a gun. I want to make sure that nothing can get close enough to hurt me."

Neji shakes his head and walks away from me. "No. It's too dangerous. Do you know how many people shoot themselves by accident every year? No, Hinata. It's not going to happen. I'm not dedicating my life to keeping you safe, only to have you shoot yourself in the head by accident. It's not happening."

"Neji," I protest, feeling my emotions flare. "If I have you or Tenten train me then I couldn't be in better hands! How could I hurt myself with two of the best weapon experts as my teachers?"

Neji just shakes his head. "Shit happens all the time, Hinata. No. I've said no. Don't ask again. Now go take a shower, it's lunch time."

Dejected, I grab my towel and head towards the shower.

* * *

I exit the training room in a huff, annoyed and frustrated with Neji. Gods, I know he's right, but I know I am too. I need to know how to protect myself from a distance. I don't want the Uchiha to be able to get even _slightly_ close to me. And as good as I am at aikido, it's not going to help me against a gun.

The guards who litter the hall stand to attention as I pass them, and I look at them from the corner of my eye. I don't know any of them, and yet I'm expected to trust them with my life. Could they be Uchiha?

Could they be the Demon?

I shudder just thinking about it.

Neji is waiting for me at the end of the hall, and he doesn't say a word to me as I stalk past him; he just watches me like a hawk, his eyes boring holes into the back of my head.

Tenten's in the kitchen, making some ramen for lunch, and she eyes me curiously as I walk towards the lounge room. I can't tell if Neji has told her about my request, though I assume he has.

A breath of air escapes my mouth as I flop onto the couch, arms crossed, brows knitted together in annoyance. I know I'm acting like a spoilt child, but Gods I'm so _bored_ and frankly, a little emotionally volatile right now. So much so that not even my father could un-slouch my shoulders.

So lost in my reverie, I don't notice Gaara move over towards me.

"Bad day?" he asks, sitting on the couch opposite me. I watch as Neji moves closer upon seeing my interaction with Gaara, and I pointedly ignore him.

"Neji won't teach me how to protect myself," I say loudly and petulantly. "He thinks I'll hurt myself like I'm some irresponsible child."

I can see the confused look on his face, but I don't explain further. Just keep my arms crossed and slump further into the couch.

"But haven't you… mastered aikido?" he questions, a furrow worrying his brow.

"Yes. Because aikido is going to be _so_ helpful when some lunatic fifty metres away is firing a gun at me," I retort, looking towards my bedroom door.

"Surely a bullet-proof vest is going to be more helpful than anything in that scenario," he replies, his voice calm, and that irritates me because he's also right and God can't someone just be wrong for once?

"I want to learn how to shoot a gun and Neji won't teach me because he thinks I'll hurt myself," I tell him, shooting Neji an accusatory glare from my peripherals, and he chooses that moment to interject.

"I don't want to train you, Hinata, because there's no need for you to learn. Tenten and I are with you at all times, we can protect you."

"But what if there's a situation where we get separated?" I shoot back.

"There won't be," he says, his voice even and steady.

"But say -"

"There _won't_ be," he interjects, his voice venomous, and I know I've started to cross a line.

I turn towards Gaara. "Come on, back me up here. Knowing how to shoot a gun – knowing how to protect myself – is important, right?"

"Hinata, I have not dedicated my life to keeping you alive just so you can shoot yourself by accident," Neji says, his voice raised. "Gaara, you of all people must know how dangerous a gun can be!"

I see a flash of knowing light up his eyes like a shooting star before they dull back to their usual seafoam.

"Neji coming to _me_ for backup?" Gaara jokes, stifling a laugh. "You must be truly desperate to come to me for help."

Neji glares at him, and Gaara holds up his hands in surrender. "I agree with both of you!" he says. "Yeah, Hinata, I reckon you should at least _know_ how to shoot a gun, even if you don't use one. But Neji's the boss. What he says goes. And guns _are_ really dangerous. It'd be ridiculously ironic if we all spent all this time trying to keep you safe only for you to kill yourself by accident. Ultimately the decision's not up to me. It's up to Neji. And Neji says no, so that's the end of it."

I narrow my eyes at him, but before I can begin hurling insults at him for daring to take Neji's side instead of mine, Tenten's walking over with a bowl of ramen in her hands.

"Lunch!" she says brightly, desperately trying to diffuse the tension, and I allow the subject to drop.

* * *

 **More of a set-up chapter than anything, this. I've got my plan pretty much finalised, which is nice. Now I just have to write it all!**

 **Thank you to the beautiful people who left a review last chapter, it's appreciated more than words can describe. Nothing motivates like a review, and I love hearing from you all :)**

 **Much love, Alia xx**


	16. progress

**So I've been slowly working on this story the last few weeks, and as much as I want to promise that I'll go back to regular updates I just can't. But I do promise that I've been getting through it, bit by bit. Inspiration for this story comes in waves - I'll have a week of inspiration tidal waves and then months of nothing. Uni absolutely killed me this year - I wish I was joking when I tell you I was doing about 90 hour weeks on average. During exam times that'd easily get up to about the 120 hour mark.**

 **I'm updating today, because today is one of triumph and celebration: not only was the TIME person of the year the Silence Breakers, the ones whose voices launched the historic movement against sexual harassment and assault, but the Australian government FINALLY legalised marriage equality! I'm in a state of absolute euphoria, and I want to share my happiness with you in the only way I can: by giving you an update. It's not much, but it's all I have, and I hope it brings you some of the joy I'm feeling now.**

 **Infinite love and thank yous to the wonderful people who left me a review last chapter - I don't deserve your kindness xoxo**

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 **Chapter 16 - progress**

 _From the moment I wake, they come to my white cell and take me to the training ground. My body is a battlefield of bruises, and it hurts to breathe, but I don't complain, because complaining brings punishment and that hurts more._

" _Take your stance," says the man, and I do so, gingerly getting into position. Lean back on the right – no, left foot, left fist in front of my face, right next to my cheek._

" _Do you want broken thumbs?"_

 _I flick my thumbs out from underneath my fingers._

 _The man waves someone else over to me, and they take position a few feet away, their stance mirroring mine._

" _Kill him," says the man to me, "or no food until tomorrow."_

 _My stomach growls a protest, but I nod. "Yes, master," I say, and begin my attack. The person opposite me is twice my size, easily, and has no qualms about holding back. They go for my nose, but I dodge and hit their jaw._

 _Pain sears through my fist, and I break concentration long enough for them to hit me in the ribs, winding me and forcing me to the floor, tears rising unwelcome into my eyes._

" _Stupid child," says the man, approaching me, cane in his hand. "Where are you supposed to avoid?" I don't answer immediately, and he hits me with the cane, hard, right across my ribs._

 _I gasp, and splutter out: "Jaw, cheek, and forehead." My lungs can't fill with air. He hits me again, the pain licking over my shins this time._

" _And where did you hit?" he demands, and I respond immediately._

" _His jaw." My middle finger feels like it's been fractured._

" _Take him to the medical ward," says the man. "He is to get no meals for two days. Do you understand, Gaara?"_

 _I nod, forcing myself to my feet, careful to avoid putting pressure on my shins. "Yes, master. Sorry, master. Thank you, master." The other grabs me by the scruff of my neck and drags me from the room._

* * *

Hinata is training again. Neji and Tenten have allowed me into the training room (though I suspect that that had a lot more to do with Hinata and less to do with them), and it's honestly fascinating to watch her.

I see now why she tends to avoid form-fitting clothes. Her body is pure lean muscle, honed over years of Aikido training. No one would suspect just how fit she is under those clothes unless they'd seen her train. And an unsuspecting enemy is a weak enemy. She gives Neji a run for his money, though he is just that little bit stronger and faster than she is. But there's no denying that she is very gifted at Aikido. Only an idiot would deny that.

I can't help myself as my eyes travel over her. She's wearing a sports bra and leggings, her normally loose hair tied up in a messy bun at the top of her head. Her sweat creates a gentle halo around her in the artificial light. She's always been pretty – I can admit that much and still plot her death. But here, as relaxed as she is, with a smile on her face and mischief in her eyes, she looks genuinely beautiful. I relax and rove my eyes around the room, careful not to stare at her too much, lest Neji gouge my eyes out.

They start their spar, and she dodges an attack at her knees, then twists to avoid another in her ribs. Her fist aims for Neji's nose, but he pushes it out of the way and aims for her throat. She ducks and goes for his groin instead, but he pivots and aims for her knees again. They continue much in the same fashion, and Hinata looks, dare I say, bored. Like she's done this routine a million times before, which, to be fair, she probably has.

They continue. Aim, strike, dodge, miss, bluff, attack, dodge, miss, strike, block, counter-attack, block, aim, attack, dodge, miss, attack, bluff, strike, block, miss… Five minutes later Neji calls a break, and they both sit down, a little bruised but ultimately unhurt.

"I need someone else to practise with, Neji," Hinata says suddenly between mouthfuls of water. "You've already taught me everything – we're just going through the motions now. And I can already beat Tenten… sorry Tenten… but seriously. We need to find someone else." She sounds a little _too_ nonchalant when she says that, and I fix my eyes on her, wondering what she's plotting.

Neji finishes his mouthful of water, and says calmly, "There is no one else, Hinata. None of the other guards are at our level. It wouldn't do anything but fuel your ego."

She narrows her eyes at him, and I watch, amused by their banter.

She waits a beat, and I feel like she's going to say something no one in this room will like. "What about Gaara?" she suggests casually, and I jump, glaring at her. Neji has much the same reaction. Hinata either doesn't notice or doesn't care. She's wiping her face with a towel, trying to act blasé, though the slight tension in her neck suggests otherwise.

"No," he states firmly, and I have to agree with him. Why on earth would she suggest me in the first place? Surely she knows it's a recipe for trouble.

"Why not?" she questions, and I suddenly realise why she's brought me along to her sparring lessons. "He beat you, didn't he?"

I nearly choke on my spit, and refrain from coughing through only the most inhumane effort. I don't look at Neji, though I can feel his eyes glaring daggers into me.

"That was a fluke," I say, trying to downplay it. She's going to get me fired at this rate. And just after I'd made so much headway, too. Stupid girl.

"Fluke or not, it was still a win," she persists, and I can feel her eyes joining Neji's on me. "Come on Neji, I need something different. You're the best fighter I know, but I can't get better if I'm not subject to anything new."

I bristle a bit at that line, but outwardly make no reaction. He's the best fighter that she _thinks_ she knows. But she doesn't know that and she doesn't need to know that. Not yet, anyway.

I brave looking over at Neji, but he's turned away from me now, his eyes back to Hinata. They have a silent conversation between them, one that I'm not privy to, before Neji's shoulders slump. "Fine," he grates out between clenched teeth, and I can barely believe my ears. "But I'm warning you," he says, turning to me, "if you hurt her, I'll make you wish you'd never been born." He waits for me to agree, then says: "Go put on some training clothes. Hurry up."

I race into the guard's room next door and find a spare set of training clothes and quickly pull them on, then head back to the training room. Hinata's already stretching in the middle of the floor, and I put my other clothes down, along with the weapons, and follow suit, loosening up the muscles in my body.

She looks at me with something almost like a smile on her face, and I get the distinct impression that she's been planning this for days. The little shit.

Hinata gets into position and I get in to mine. Find my centre of gravity. Breathe in, breathe out. Concentrate. Study her movements. If it comes to blows when it's time to kill her, make sure I can win. Don't hurt her, though. I need Neji's and Tenten's trust, not their ire, if I'm ever to get half a second alone with her.

If I'm ever to get half a chance to kill her.

There's a beat, and then I start the fight, aiming for her ribs, and quick as a snake she blocks me, aiming for my throat. I'm holding back more than I normally would – I need them all to like me. But I can see Hinata's getting frustrated.

"Come on, Gaara," she pants. "Hit me. I can take it." There's fireworks in the moonlight of her eyes, something daring me to challenge it, though I resist. Just.

I lunge again, knowing she'll block me. "I think if I tried Neji would mount my head on a stick."

She slips between my arms and punches me in the nose, and I stumble back, my face stinging. "Seriously?" I demand, blood running down and over my mouth.

"I'll go for your privates next if you don't man up. Hit me."

I turn to look at Neji, incredulous. "Is she always like this?"

Neji shrugs, though I do detect the barest hint of a satisfied smile on his face, and I can tell he's enjoying watching her beat the crap out of me. "It's just easier to give her what she wants, sometimes."

I roll my eyes and loosen my shoulders. My nose bleed is already starting to subside, though the blood has caked unpleasantly around my mouth.

"Fine."

I stop holding back so much – though not entirely. I can't have them suspicious. We spar for about thirty seconds before I land the first hit to her side, and she staggers away, gasping for breath. My eyes follow her, something almost like worry brewing in my gut, before she sucks in some air and straightens up.

"Finally," she says, a glow about her cheeks and a smile on her face. She is an absolute conundrum. We continue the fight.

She's a brilliant fighter. One of the best I've faced. I was right that Neji is better – but only just. Hinata's movements have a fluidity that Neji's lacks. He's a hair's breadth stronger and faster, but she's more… slippery, is the only word I have. She can change her attack or defence in the blink of an eye, and sneaks into openings that half the time I don't even realise I have. But I'm just that little bit faster and stronger, and can break her blocks if I put enough power into my attacks, and avoid hers if I'm quick enough.

But she still gets some good hits in, and so do I, and twenty minutes later and we're both heaving in air, aching and bloody from the spar. I can feel a bruise forming under my eyes, and I just _know_ I'll have a hell of a headache in the morning.

Hinata's clutching her side, but smiling despite the pain. "That was fun," she says, panting. "You should come in when I train more often." I shake my head at her, unable to figure her out. Since when does a girl _want_ to be punched?

I see Tenten stand up, worry in her eyes and a tightness to her body that she doesn't normally have. "Come on, Hinata," she says, gently putting her hands around Hinata's shoulders. "We need to get you cleaned up."

Hinata shoots one last grin at me, and, unthinking, I return it, before she's led off to the bathroom at the back of the room.

The moment she's out of sight, I groan and limp back to the benches, collapsing onto them. She may not be as strong as Neji, but she still packs a hell of a punch, and it feels like landmines have gone off beneath my skin. I can feel Neji's eyes on me again, but frankly I don't care. I just want some ice for the pain and a cloth to wipe the blood off my face.

Neji stands and walks over to me, but I ignore him. What's he going to do, yell at me for hitting her too hard? Like I had much of a choice. But instead he sits down, and I feel as uncomfortable as he looks.

"In three days we'll be going back to the library with Hinata. She'll feel better if you're there, and honestly, so will I. Be here at eight. Don't be late."

I wait until he leaves the room, before letting a smile creep onto my face. It's the opportunity I've been waiting for. A chance to finally make them trust me. Still grinning, my heart suddenly feeling a whole lot lighter, I pick up my things and head back into the guard's room to clean up and change.

* * *

Neji doesn't fill me in on any further details, and when I ask he tells me that I'll know everything on the morning of. He says it's safer that way.

But as I leave, I know I need to contact Itachi _immediately_. My heart beats faster, and excitement pulses through my veins, and I feel I could cry in relief knowing that my end is so close. Two weeks and one day left of life. Hinata will be dead, and then I'll be dead, and I won't have to kill anymore or be theirs anymore.

My suicide attempt was the first thing I'd done of my own volition since I was _twelve years old_. Nine years of what has been essentially slavery, and in just over a fortnight it'll be over.

I'll be free. Free to finally die, and take my place among those I've already killed.

I wonder, briefly, if Hinata will be there, wherever _there_ is. I find myself hoping that she'll forgive me for what I'm going to do. I hope she'll understand. The Hyuuga are going to die anyway. I can see it in their clocks. At least I'll be quick. At least I'll be as painless as possible. If left to Fugaku, her fate would be far more drawn out. Honestly, in some sick, twisted way, I'm sparing her from a worse fate by killing her.

But still, to get this plan rolling, I need Itachi. I know the Hyuuga are watching me – they'd be idiots if they weren't. My phone is probably bugged, so calling him from there is impossible. And my little apartment is probably wired by now. But I have an idea.

My hands are already in my pockets, as they usually are. My phone is sitting against my thigh, and slowly I work my finger around and turn my phone off. I wait a minute, just after I've walked past a public phone (I honestly can't believe they're still around, and I hope this one works), then pretend like I've had an idea and get out my phone, intent on calling someone.

Surprisingly, my off phone doesn't spring to life, and I sigh in faux frustration as I turn back and look at the pay phone some ten metres behind me. Digging a coin out of my pocket, I slide it into the coin slot and dial a number that I know goes straight to Kisame. Thankfully he answers.

"The fuck is this?" he says.

"Take a guess," I reply, sarcasm dripping.

"Ah. Hold on." The line goes quiet for a moment, and then Itachi is on the phone.

"Yes?" he asks.

"I need to speak to you. Not my place, it'll be bugged." I keep my mouth as still as possible – I'm sure the Hyuuga would have someone tailing me (I'd have someone tailing me if I were them), and I'm not going to risk them being able to lip read.

"Go home, and act normal. Do you have someone tailing you?"

"Probably," I say.

"There will be a blackout in your building between 9:32 and 9:57pm. We will talk then. Stay in your apartment."

He hangs up and I put the phone back on the receiver, casually meandering my way home, in a better mood than I have been in weeks.

* * *

 **Ooooh, things are happening! I am genuinely sorry about the waits between chapters for this story - it was never my intention to get so behind on it. I am infinitely grateful for how patient you have been with me, and I know I don't deserve it.**

 **If you would like to leave a review, I would be indescribably grateful. I adore hearing from my readers, more than words can say. I've caught wind of an environment where a lot of people don't feel comfortable reviewing anymore, but honestly there's nothing more wonderful to a writer than to hear the thoughts of their readers. I would love to hear from you.**

 **Sending lots of love and strength to all my readers. Following the metoo movement, if anyone ever needs to talk about anything, and feels more comfortable doing so with a random stranger on the internet, my inbox is always open, and you are more than welcome to send me a message any time :)**

 **Lots of love, Alia xoxo**


	17. in the shadows

**In honour of Star Wars Episode VIII being released, I've decided to give you guys this chapter. I've been wanting to write this one for years now, so it took a while to get it right, but I hope you like it regardless.**

 **Thank you so so so much to my beautiful reviewers, you make this little writer's heart swell :3**

* * *

 **Chapter 17 – in the shadows**

 _The door to the Senju building has been blown clean off its hinges, and I slowly make my way inside, stepping over the faceless bodies piled up around the outskirts of the door. Shouts and screams echo inside the building, and my heart beats faster, though from fear or excitement I don't know._

 _Fifteen minutes ago the Senju were winning. Ten minutes ago Itachi joined the fight. And now I'm here._

 _This is the first time I've been out. I completed my training yesterday, the kanji scar on my head a brand telling me where I belong. No one loves me but the Uchiha. The only love I feel is when I kill the Uchiha's enemies._

 _A movement stirs in the corner of my eye, and like lightning I throw a shuriken at it. The blade sinks into his neck like butter, and he drops, choking, unable to scream through the metal in his throat._

 _They trained me well._

 _I hear more footsteps, and take one of the guns off my back. Check the ammo, keep more on hand so as to reload the moment I need it, and I stand behind a pillar. Their boots are noisy on the tiled floor as they spill into the room. I breathe, I smile, and finally I emerge, planting a bullet into each of their heads before they have the opportunity to think._

* * *

I avoid looking at the clock too much that night, just in case. If the Hyuuga have someone spying on me I can't clue them in to the fact that I'm waiting for someone.

At 9:30pm I'm watching the television. I'm not really paying attention to what's on – some documentary about whales – instead I'm coming up with a plan so that not a minute of the blackout is wasted. I vaguely wonder how Itachi is going to get in and out of the building without being spotted, but I roll my eyes. It's _Itachi_. He'd be able to fool death if necessary.

9:31. I stretch and yawn and give the illusion of being _really interested_ in the documentary. I know that it's unlikely Neji will ask me about this – to do so would be to admit that he has someone tailing me – but I'm nothing if not thorough.

The clock hits 9:32 and I wait. Five seconds. Ten seconds. And at thirteen seconds, the expected blackout happens. Less than ten seconds later I hear a single knock at my door, and I knock back once, letting him know that I'm checking the bugs. I noted all of them when I came home, pleased to know that my paranoia was correct. There is one facing my door, one in the kitchen, one in my bedroom, but not one in my bathroom, which is interesting. Their etiquette is going to get them killed.

I quickly check the bug facing my door to make sure it died with the blackout and isn't hooked up to an alternative power source, but fate is on my side and it's thankfully dead. I open the door.

Itachi moves inside quickly, his movements like air – silent and undetectable. He doesn't waste any time before asking: "What is it?" I avoid looking at the smoky numbers above his head and look him in the eye – they're getting easier to ignore now, which is good.

"I've been given an opportunity to gain the trust of her shadows, but I need your help."

"And why is gaining their trust so important to you?" he asks me as he sits down on the slightly less worn couch.

"Because if they trust me then there's a chance they'll let me be alone with her, and it'll be far easier to kill her and get away without raising suspicion if I can do that. Her shadows are obsessive, and if there's even a hint of me betraying them they'll lock me up and then we'll never get close."

Itachi nods his understanding and indicates for me to continue.

"They're going to the library with her in three days. It'll be early in the morning – I've been asked to arrive at 8. I need you to set up an assassin. They need to be good enough to wound Tenten, preferably bad enough to put her in hospital. But I need to be able to kill them."

Itachi narrows his eyes at me. "And why shouldn't we just have _that_ assassin kill her? It would save a lot of trouble."

I'd been expecting that response. "Because not only would they be very unlikely to hit Hinata, considering that she'll be surrounded by guards, but because if she's killed randomly like that, the Hyuuga will retaliate immediately and with everything they have. They're expecting an attack to happen out in the open. One from the inside, however, would shatter them – it would break their confidence in themselves, and an unconfident enemy is a weak enemy."

Itachi thinks it over for a moment, before giving a slight nod of his head. "I see. Why, then, do we need to disable this Tenten? And why shouldn't we kill her outright?"

I'd been expecting that too. "Because Tenten is the weapons expert of the shadows. If she's gone, I'm their next best option – Neji will likely get me to replace her while she's out of action. You'll need to get her in the shoulder or something. Something that'll make using weapons impossible for a time. As to killing her, I'd advise against it. If you don't kill her, then the Hyuuga will think we're less skilled than we actually are. They'll underestimate us, and it'll be easier for us to crush them."

Itachi remains silent.

"The moment the attack happens, Neji will dive for Hinata. He'll want to get her to safety before he kills her attacker. If there are other guards with us, which I imagine there will be, they'll be spooked by the attack, and they'll panic. That's when I'll find the attacker and kill them. The moment I show I'm willing to kill and die for Hinata, Neji will be far more likely to trust me, and if Neji trusts me, Tenten will trust me. I'll have saved her life twice then – they can't ignore that."

I watch as Itachi mulls my plan over, trying to think of ways in which it won't work, and my heart is beating a tattoo in my chest. I know this plan will work. I need him to trust me.

"She'll be dead in less than a fortnight after that's done, I can almost guarantee it," I tell him, and he looks at me coldly, and I think I almost see a glint of red in the black of his eyes.

"See that it is," he tells me. "There has been far too much of a delay in these plans already. My father grows impatient. If you weren't the only one apart from me who could do this job, he'd have punished you long ago. As it is, he's already considering extending the wait of your execution. She needs to die, Gaara. There are no innocents in this war. Only casualties. Hiashi sealed his fate the moment he stepped foot in Konoha."

"The assassin will be there, then?" I ask as he stands and makes for the door.

"Look to the east of the library. They will be there." He sweeps from my room, ghostly numbers and all, and I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. Gods, Itachi is intense.

Five minutes later, the power comes back on, and I fall into bed, exhausted and sore from the day, though skittish with excitement and anticipation over what's going to come.

* * *

The day of the fake assassination attempt slinks over the horizon in a brilliant sunrise, and I arrive at the Hyuuga building ten minutes early. I'm so excited I can barely keep myself still, and only the knowledge that I could give myself and the whole plan away if I don't forces me to steady. I can't fuck this up now. I'm too close.

Lee signs me in at the front desk, far too energetic for 7:50 in the morning, and salutes me through the elevator. The two guards inside glare at me but say nothing as I stand between them.

"You look cheerful today," I tell them, unable to stop myself. "Has something lifted your spirits?" The doors open on the 78th floor before they can throttle me, and I exit with a smile and a wave.

"You're early," notes Neji as I walk around into the living room. Hinata is sitting on the couch, Tenten helping her put on a bullet proof vest.

"Is that a problem?" I challenge, raising my brow.

Neji shakes his head. "No. Go to the guard's room and get into gear. I need to discuss the plan with you."

I do so, and find a bullet proof vest that fits me, armour for my arms and legs, a helmet, and my usual weapons – the handgun goes in its holster on my hip, the machete in its sheath on my other side, and some throwing knives in a pouch on my thigh.

Neji walks over to me as I leave. "You'll be coming in the car with us. Tenten will be driving, you'll be in the front with her, and I'll be in the back with Hinata. When we get to the library, you'll be standing in front, I'll be on her left, and Tenten will be on her right. There will be a group of guards surrounding us. Your job will be to walk us from the car to the library entrance. We'll be pulling up outside of it, but that still leaves about twenty metres between the car and the library, and that twenty metres is what could get us killed. You will wear your helmet at all times, so will I, Hinata, and Tenten. The idea is to try and confuse any would-be attackers, by making it difficult for them to tell who is who. Tenten has already booked a room for Hinata to study in, and we'll be there for three hours. I'll be in the room with her, you and Tenten will stand guard at the door. The room has no windows and the vents are too small in that room for anything to threaten us. Once the three hours are up, we will leave in the same formation. Do you understand?"

I nod my head, not willing to test him over this. "Yes."

"Good. Load your gun, but leave it in your holster. You are not to touch it unless we are attacked, and if we are you and Tenten are to stay outside and find and kill the attacker. I will take Hinata to safety, either back to the car, or into the library, whichever is closest. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I say again, nodding my head.

"Any questions?" he asks, eyeing me carefully, but I shake my head. I've never seen him so riled up before, not even when he had a gun in my face. "Good. Get ready. We'll be leaving as soon as Hinata is done."

* * *

We get into the car with no issues, and Tenten immediately starts driving. There's another car in front of us, identical to ours: blacked out windows and completely bullet-proof. Tenten has some of the best road rage I've ever seen, and I force back my laughter. Neji is anxiously keeping track of everything happening inside and outside the car, and Hinata looks mostly at ease, which is almost unsettling.

"Why are you so relaxed?" I ask her before I can help myself, and she gives me a smile, then shrugs, looking out the window.

"There's only two scenarios that can happen to me today. Either I'll get home safe and sound or I'll die. If the first, then today will be a good day. I'll be able to go outside, I'll be able to get some study done, and best of all I'll be out of the damn building for a few hours. If the second, then there's not much we can do to avoid it. We've already done everything we can to keep me safe. And I don't want to spend my last few moments alive stressed and scared and worried."

I must have given her a look to show my incredulity at her response, because she sighs and continues. "Look, Gaara, in the last month I've nearly died twice. I was nearly hit by a truck and I was shot in the head. I could very easily spend the rest of my life cowering in fear, but I'd be so frightened to live I may as well be dead anyway. Or I could just accept it and live the rest of my life, however long that's going to be, as well as I can. Am I scared? Yes. I'd be stupid not to be. But I won't let it rule me."

I almost say that that's a bit rich coming from someone who's scared of light switches and windows, but I hold my tongue. Neji is watching me with a warning in his eyes to keep my mouth shut, and I have a feeling that he knows exactly what I want to say.

"We'll be there in two minutes, Hinata," calls Tenten from the front. "Put your helmet on."

Hinata rolls her eyes at me and twists her hair up into a messy knot on the top of her head before putting the helmet on.

"You too, Sabaku," she says to me, and I pull the helmet over my head, and for the first time in years my hands have a fine tremor fluttering through them. Like a whisper of nervousness has sighed through me, and my brow creases in confusion. It's excitement, or anticipation. It's not nerves. I haven't been nervous in years. Not since the Senju. I get a hold of myself and check the rest of my armour. Neji fusses over Hinata's helmet, making sure the visor is down and none of her hair is sticking out of it. He checks her bullet-proof vest and the rest of her armour, and when he seems satisfied he puts his own helmet on. From the rear view mirror I'm certain she's rolling her eyes, but she doesn't protest.

The first car parks out the front of the library, and ours parks immediately behind it. There's a tension in the air, brittle enough to snap, as everyone's nerves are on edge. The guards in the first truck exit and surround our car, and I'm already scanning the edges of the buildings on the eastern side, wondering if I can spot our faux assassin.

But I see nothing, and follow Tenten's lead as she exits the car and goes around to join Hinata, standing at her right. Neji on her left. I take my place in front. My heart is pulsing, waiting for that gun shot, and I can't take my eyes off the horizon of buildings surrounding us. Five metres from the car.

My fingers flex, itching to grab my gun. I feel far too vulnerable out here. A shiver runs up my spine, like a claw has caressed the thin skin, and a lump forms into my throat. I'm not used to this… whatever it is. It feels wrong, even though nothing is. This is the plan. It has always been the plan. It's unsettling, just waiting for that bullet to snap the tension in the air. It's even more unnerving knowing that I'm the only one who knows it's coming.

Ten metres out from the car, ten metres to the library. If it's going to happen any time, it'll be now. In the middle of our safety, out in the open. I can see Neji in my peripherals, scanning the concrete horizon, and Tenten on the other side. I wonder if Hinata is nervous. I'm certain she is, and even though I know that she's not currently in danger, that she's not the one who's going to be attacked, something still feels wrong. It feels wrong to put her near danger.

The bullet hits Tenten half a second before the gun cracks in my ear. She screams and falls, her left hand rising immediately to cup her right shoulder; her knees hit the ground hard, and I can see that she's desperately trying to reach for her gun, but her arm won't move how it's supposed to.

Everything happens slowly at first, then all at once. Like film slowed down for half a second, and then sped up far too fast the next. Neji dives over Hinata, pulling her into his chest, and he yells at three of the surrounding guards to cover him as he races back to the car.

The other guards are skittish. They set up a tight circle around us, weapons drawn, looking for the culprit. Another shot rings out, and hits Tenten right above the collar bone. She screams again and falls back, trying to stem the flow of blood. I can see Neji look back, longing to help her in his eyes, and knowing that he can't – he has to get Hinata to safety. They're not even a metre from the group. She's still vulnerable. It feels like my heart does a backflip in my throat, watching him drag Hinata away and staring wide-eyed at Tenten. They're shouting, though I can't hear any of it.

Less than two seconds have passed since the first bullet hit, and I pull my gun out, scanning the tops of the buildings for an anomaly.

There it is. A slight bump against the flat of the roof. Fifty metres away. Kill them. I've done it a thousand times before. I can do it now. I grip the handgun, aim, breathe out, and squeeze the trigger.

It hits, and my heart skips a beat as the figure topples off the side of the building. I wonder if I know them. A half second of relief washes over me, but now's not the time. I need to play the part. I need to cement my worth to them.

Neji hesitates the moment the person falls off the building, and I shout at him, "Get her back! There could be more of them!" He looks at me, determination and something almost like… respect? plays in his eyes. He nods, and continues to drag Hinata back to the car. She's screaming, desperately trying to get to Tenten, trying to help.

I relax into my role, and point to two of the guards around me. "Take Tenten back to the other car and get her to hospital. Quick. The rest of you, search the buildings. We need to make sure they were alone." The rest of them nod at me, and quickly split up into three groups of two to scan the area.

I slowly make my way over to the fallen shooter, keeping an eye on the buildings, and within seconds I hear one car peel away from the curb, followed shortly by the other.

I reach the anonymous assassin and take off his mask. There's a bullet wound straight through his eye, and his head is a mess from where it hit the pavement. Other people are starting to leak out of the surrounding buildings, nervously looking around them for the source of the disturbance. One of them shouts when they see the pool of blood – Tenten's blood – but I don't look at them. I stare at the life-clock above the assassin, the smoky zero staring back at me, taunting me. I wonder if the Uchiha told him he was going to die. Did he know? Or was he just ordered to wound Tenten? Maim, but not kill. Demon's orders. I feel a little sick in my stomach, knowing that I'd condemned this man to die. This happened because of me. Somehow there's a difference between being ordered to kill and making the order.

I don't like it.

Finally, the other guards come back after their search, and report that the assassin was alone, as I knew he would be. Police have started to arrive. I order the men to take the assassin's body back with us to the Hyuuga mansion, to garner all possible information from it, and they obey me without question, almost like they respect me.

Almost like they trust me.

I don't know how I feel about that – something whispers _liar_ in my gut, and tastes like _traitor_ and sounds like _imposter_. But when the Hyuuga sends two big cars, I climb in with the rest of them, and force the mask back on to my face, though it feels like it doesn't quite fit anymore, and count the seconds in between my breaths, because I know who I am, and I don't have to like it, I just have to know it.

And whether I want others to like it is completely irrelevant.

* * *

 **Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Reviews are always wonderful and welcome and extremely appreciated.**

 **Lots of love, and may the force be with you ;)**

 **\- Alia xoxo**


	18. settling like dust

**Late Happy New Year and Happy Holidays! I hope you were all able to surround yourselves with loved ones and good times.**

 **As always, thank you beyond comprehension to my beautiful reviewers - I would have stopped writing years ago if it weren't for you.**

* * *

 **Chapter 18 - settling like dust**

 _I look at the dishevelled girl, unable to help my nose crinkling up in disgust. There's dirt on her face and her hair might be brown but it also might be full of mud, and I can smell her from where I stand, at least five feet away. She hasn't even hit puberty yet._

" _You've got to be joking," I say before I can stop myself, and turn to face Itachi. His face is impassive; a blank slate._

" _No, I'm not. You're one of our best men. We need more like you. So we need you to train them to be like you." He folds his arms and calmly leans back into the chair. "So train her."_

 _I turn back to the girl… thing. "She looks half dead. I don't think she'll survive the first day."_

" _And you think you looked any different when you first came to us? You were more dead than alive when we got you, and we didn't think you would survive. But you did, and here you are. If she dies then that's it. We'll get you a new one. No one will miss her."_

 _The girl – Matsuri – is shaking from head to toe, quaking like a bug under a microscope. Her arms are wrapped like a vice around her skeletal frame, and her bulbous brown eyes are darting around the room._

 _I know I can't refuse. It's an order from_ Itachi. _To refuse would be to basically sign my own death warrant, and I desperately don't want that. I've worked too hard to get here._

 _I sigh, forcing my pride out of my body with the motion, and bow to Itachi. "Thank you for this opportunity," I say, then walk out of the room, Matsuri hobbling along in my wake._

* * *

The ride back to the Hyuuga building is quiet and tense. The guards around me jittery with unguarded nerves, waiting for the next attack, and I wonder if this is the first time they've ever been in this situation.

They're going to have to get used to plenty more like it, with the presumed war coming in a few months.

I take a deep breath, working to get my head clear. What just happened shouldn't affect me as much as it is. I've killed before, I've even killed other Uchiha workers before, so what about this could be different?

I realise quickly that it isn't even the killing that does bother me. Nor is it the fact that I basically ordered that man's death – that's a whole other set of emotions that I have no intention of dealing with at all, ever.

I can't get Hinata out of my head. How wrong it felt to have her there in the first place, knowing that she was only a foot away from the bullet that hit Tenten. Knowing that I'd ordered that bullet to be there. I had put her in danger, and something about that feels uncomfortable.

I shake my head and get a hold of myself. That's a dangerous thought to follow, one that could get me in a lot of trouble. Hinata is going to die. Hinata has to die. And I have to kill her. That is not negotiable.

But still, I can't get the fear in her eyes out of my head. The way she desperately reached for Tenten, screaming to help her, despite the danger it would put her in. I wonder what it must be like to care for someone that much – to have someone care about _me_ that much. The Uchiha have never cared about _me_ , per se. They cared about my skills and my abilities and my anonymity, but never about me specifically. And if I've ever cared about someone that much then I certainly can't remember it. Unless I count Matsuri, but I don't. Matsuri is dead and gone and buried, and it doesn't do to dwell on things I can't change.

From the age of twelve my life has been white walls and training and pain and death. Attachments don't work very well in that environment. You get stronger or you die, it's that simple. And if I had a life before that, I don't remember it.

We arrive at the Hyuuga building, and two of the guards drag the body of the would-be assassin from the car. I look at his face one last time, and I don't recognise him. Even if I did, it wouldn't make a difference. He's just another nameless, faceless Uchiha worker, condemned to die.

I wonder if that's how I'll look, in death. I wonder if anyone will mourn for me. I shake my head again, trying in vain to dispel the stupid, pointless thoughts. Who cares if anyone will mourn me. I won't – I'll be too dead to care.

Walking into the Hyuuga building, I can see immediately that everyone's on alert. The dozens of guards in the lobby are all standing at attention, fingers fluttering over their guns, waiting for an excuse to use them. The body of the would-be assassin is taken somewhere I don't see, and I approach Lee at the front desk. He sends me up without a word, unusually reserved for someone so determinedly upbeat, and I get into the elevator when it arrives, too consumed by my own thoughts to bother annoying the two guards in the lift.

The doors open on the 78th floor and I stagger out, blinking in the unnatural light of the hallway. _Focus, Gaara. You don't have time to be distracted._ I forcefully lock all of my meddlesome thoughts in a box at the back of my brain, refusing to look at them any longer. Taking a deep breath, with my head finally free of that irritating buzzing, I walk along the hallway toward the living room, removing my bullet-proof vest as I go. One of the guards in the hallway picks it up and takes it into the training room.

Hinata's sitting on the couch, Neji sitting on the seat opposite her. A slight tremor is running down her spine, and her arms are clutched like safety around her middle. Though she's no longer crying, the redness around her eyes betrays the recent occupation of tears. Something sparks in my gut at that, but I swallow it down.

She notices me after I'm two steps in to the kitchen, and she chokes out, "Gaara!" The sound is strangled and full of worries floating like oil on the surface, but then she's off the couch and running at me. Before I can react, she's wound her arms around me and buried her face in my chest, sobs wracking their way up her throat. "I was so worried," she whispers to me, and I see that Neji has risen from the couch and is also walking toward me.

My mind has gone blank. My heart feels like it's stopped beating, and my blood has frozen in my veins. She still hasn't let me go, though I have made no move to return the hug, and honestly I'm not sure I know how. Hinata has been the only person I know of to ever hug me.

But this hug is different to the one she gave me in the lobby the other week: this one is desperate, clutching, like she can stop everything from falling apart if she holds me tighter, and I can feel her tears disintegrate through my shirt. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was so stupid, leaving here just to go to the library. I could've gotten us all killed, and for what? A few hours outside?" She takes a deep, wracking breath, and when she starts speaking again her voice is a little quieter, wavering like a moth near a flame. "We got word from the hospital that Tenten's made it and she's going to be okay," Hinata continues, still not letting me go, "but we hadn't heard anything from you. You could've been killed, I was going crazy, and Neji wouldn't let me leave to find out."

My heart drops into my stomach at the revelation that she was worried… about _me_. No one has ever worried about me before. No one has ever cared enough to worry about me. I awkwardly pat her on the back, unsure of how to proceed, and look to Neji for some form of help.

"Um…" I say awkwardly, more uncomfortable than I've ever been in my life. I've been in a lot of situations, but this one is completely new. "I'm… I'm okay. There was only one shooter, so once I got him everything was fine. You don't need to worry, I can handle myself."

She sobs out an almost hysterical giggle at that, but still doesn't let go. "I know you can, but still. I was still worried."

I've run out of words to use, and silently implore Neji with my eyes, and I know that if he wasn't coming off the back of such a serious situation he'd probably be enjoying my struggle.

"You're being irrational, Hinata," says Neji, his voice deadpan. "Just because you hadn't heard an update from Gaara specifically, doesn't mean you didn't know anything. I was giving you updates as soon as I received them."

Hinata finally lets me go, wiping her eyes as if she were smearing a mask back on. "Of course I'm being irrational, Neji," she says, venom dancing on the peripherals of her voice. "I don't know if you remember, but Tenten could've died today because I wanted to go to the library. Or that I nearly died just over two weeks ago, and again three weeks ago. Excuse me for being scared that I could lose someone important to me. Especially since we've been targeted ever since we moved to this damn city in the first place! I know why father moved us here, but ever since Hanabi… he hasn't been right since Hanabi died. I wish we'd never come here. He cares more about forgetting Hanabi than he does about me, and I'm so tired of living like this all the time. I can barely even look at a light switch without wanting to panic. It's exhausting!"

The name Hanabi rings a bell, and I remember that she is supposed to have a younger sister. She mentioned her a few times in the week that I was stalking her.

 _I'm going to go visit Hanabi tomorrow._

 _It's Hanabi's birthday soon, what should I get her?_

 _I wish Hanabi could see my performance, I think she'd be really proud of how much her big sister has improved._

I'd assumed from those snippets that Hanabi was alive and well, just living somewhere distant. It never occurred to me that she's dead. I look at Hinata and can't help but wonder what happened to her. How did she die? And why does that have anything to do with why they're in Konoha? My eyes fall on Neji, and he looks more furious than I've ever seen him.

" _If_ I remember?" he spits at her, eyes narrowed, and I can tell that Hinata knows she's crossed a line. " _If_?" His voice is a hiss, poison injected into every sound. "How can I forget? Who was it, who stitched your temple back together after you were shot, huh? Who held you when the sound of every car horn made you scream when you got home that day? You think I didn't want to go back and help Tenten after she was shot? You think it didn't take every ounce of self-control I possess to keep herding you back to the car instead of going back and helping her? You watched me hang every single one of these fucking curtains just so that you could sleep at night. I hired two hundred new guards after you were attacked and I did the background check on _every single one of them._ You've got to be fucking joking me, Hinata. I've given up my life just to keep you safe and you say _that_ bullshit to me? Fuck off. Fuck you, Hinata. Fuck you."

He stalks back to the couch and sits on it, running a shaking hand through his hair. Hinata looks shell-shocked. Her arms are clasped around her middle again and she's shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. Slowly, silently, she makes her way towards her room and shuts the door behind her.

I feel like I've intruded on something deeply private, and the other guard in the kitchen looks equally uncomfortable. I desperately want to leave – the tension in the room is giving me goose bumps – but I also know that Neji will want to know all the details of what happened after he left the library, and I could get into some deep shit if I leave before filling him in.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself, and walk over to the couch. Neji will either thank me or cut my head off for the intrusion, and I figure that's a win-win either way.

He doesn't look at me as I sit down, but I expect little else. Instead, I take a deep breath again and tell him everything that happened after he got Hinata to safety. "After I killed the attacker I ordered two of the guards left to take Tenten to the spare car and take her to hospital. The rest I ordered into three groups of two. One scoured the building on the eastern side, one the building to the west, and one the library in the north. I approached the attacker to make sure he was dead and that he didn't have a bomb or anything on him, and when it was clear to me that he was dead and had no other weapons on him I stayed by the body until the men had finished their search. When they did they told me he was alone, which I had already figured because no other bullets had been fired. We brought the body back here for examination, and that's everything."

I watch him to gauge his reaction, but he gives nothing away.

"Do you think he was the Demon?" Neji finally asks, doubt in his voice.

"If that was the Demon we'd all be dead," I say, completely confident. And it's true. If it were me on that rooftop then Hinata, Neji, Tenten, and all of the guards would be carrying a bullet in their brain now.

Neji nods, as if I'd confirmed his thoughts. "Do you think it was the Uchiha?" he asks, more confidence in his voice now.

"Who else could it be?" I ask back. "Unless the Hyuuga has other enemies in Konoha that I don't know about?"

Neji shakes his head in exasperation then sighs, running his hand through his hair again. "The Hyuuga have enemies everywhere. But only the Uchiha would be so bold as to attack us in broad daylight. And only because they have the police in their pockets, so they won't face any repercussions. But what I can't figure out is why they only sent one gunman, and why they would send a gunman who couldn't even hit the person he was aiming for, and honestly, I'm not even sure he _was_ aiming for Hinata. He hit Tenten twice, and he must have realised after the first hit that she wasn't Hinata. Why would he keep aiming for her? This makes no sense to me. Last time they sent the _Demon_ after her. And he only missed because her light switch gave her an electric shock. This guy didn't even seem to try to hit Hinata. It feels wrong. It feels like I'm missing something."

I shrug, pretending to be lost in thought. "Maybe the Demon is busy on another assignment?" I suggest, not exactly lying. "Maybe they were just trying to scare you. Maybe it was a lone gunman trying to impress the Uchiha. Maybe they bit off more than they could chew and thought they could wipe out all of Hinata's guards in one go. I don't know. But what I do know is that Tenten is out of action now. She's your second-in-command. What are you going to do about that? Does Hiashi have someone else he could send out?"

Neji finally looks at me, thoughts swimming like ghosts in the white of his eyes. "None that he can spare. After this attack he has gone into hiding. Only a few of us knew his previous location anyway, but after this latest attack it's proven that the Uchiha have become bold and reckless. He's gone somewhere where he can run our organisation without putting himself in danger."

"Then why doesn't he take Hinata with him?" I question, confused. "Surely if this place is so safe he could make room for his heir."

But Neji is shaking his head again. "No, he won't do that. Hinata is his heir, but only because he has no other choice."

My confusion must read plain as day on my face, because he looks away again and rubs his face with his hand. "Hinata only became Hiashi's heir last year after her younger sister, Hanabi, was killed." I stay silent, waiting for him to continue, feeling in my bones that the following information is too important to miss. "It was a car crash. A head-on collision. A drunk driver, and as we later found out, a spy for the Uchiha. She wasn't hugely important, but her presence in our hometown revealed to us that the Uchiha were planning on expanding into our territory. Hiashi decided to attack first, not only to avenge Hanabi, but to show the Uchiha our strength.

"Something in Hiashi broke the night Hanabi died. He was closer to her than he has ever been to Hinata – she reminds him too much of her mother. She's gentle and kind and she doesn't like violence if she can help it. She's a good fighter, and she's driven, but not to the extent that Hanabi was. Hanabi _wanted_ this. She was born to lead the Hyuuga. She was a prodigy, you have no idea. Hinata wants to do right by her father, but she doesn't want to do it in the way he wants. I think Hiashi feels like the Hyuuga died with Hanabi. He does love Hinata, but Hanabi was everything to him. He cares about avenging Hanabi – keeping Hinata safe falls to me."

My face betrays nothing of the tempest of tumultuous thoughts raging in my head. I'm in the upper cadre of the Uchiha, and I knew _nothing_ of this. I wonder if Itachi knows, and then mentally slap myself. Of _course_ Itachi knows. Itachi is next in line to the Uchiha throne. Hell, he may have even orchestrated Hanabi's death – it wouldn't surprise me if he had. But still. I can't _believe_ I didn't investigate Hanabi further when I was stalking Hinata all those weeks ago. That was a moronic slip up on my part.

"Okay," I say, my voice miraculously even. "So what are you going to do about this?"

Neji is looking at Hinata's door, his brow furrowed in thought. "Until Tenten gets back, I'm going to need you to take over her duties. You're good with weapons, and Hinata needs someone with her basically at all times, and sometimes I have other shit I need to do. And she actually trusts you, so that's a bonus. I'll avoid leaving you in charge where possible, but be prepared that it might happen. I don't know how long Tenten will be out of action – the bullets damaged the muscles and tendons in her shoulder, and she won't be able to lift a weapon until she's fully healed."

I lean back in the chair, as if contemplating the offer. "Will I get a pay rise?" I ask, in keeping with my character.

Neji rolls his eyes. "You'll get a dollar extra an hour. But you'll need to stay in the building basically around the clock, in case of an emergency – yes, even when you're not on shift. Because with Hinata, you're always on shift. I'll take you through the ropes later. This conversation isn't over, I need to talk to you more about this attack. But right now I need to talk to Hinata."

I watch as he stands, stretching his shoulders and back until it pops, and then slowly walks into Hinata's room, locking the door behind him.

* * *

 **This chapter took a while to write, so I'm hoping that the writers block hasn't gone back up. I really want to keep writing this - I _really_ want to finish this story. We'll see how it goes. Reviews always work wonders. Nothing gets me writing more than knowing there's people who _want_ me to write, and it's hard to know whether people actually want that without hearing from you. Your thoughts are precious to me.**

 **Thank you for reading, please leave a review.**

 **Lots of love,** **Alia xoxo**


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